IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, many people choose to educate children at home by themselves instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, parents prefer that their children learn through
Use synonyms
home schooling
Use the right word
homeschooling
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of traditional
school
Use synonyms
 attendance.
However
Linking Words
, I fully believe that going to
school
Use synonyms
 is better than learning
Linking Words
while in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay
explain
Correct subject-verb agreement
explains
show examples
 my perspective on
this
Linking Words
 topic. First of all, it is argued that
first year
Use the right word
first-year
show examples
 students face challenges when attending
school
Use synonyms
. One of these problems is bullying.
Therefore
Linking Words
, protective families choose to place their children at
home
Use synonyms
 to receive
eduction
Use the right word
education
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, even if
this
Linking Words
 path
sound
Correct subject-verb agreement
sounds
show examples
scomfortable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 for parents, the child,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, loses valuable skills that he could
further
Linking Words
 develop in
this
Linking Words
 critical age.
For example
Linking Words
, social skills
such
Linking Words
 as communication, learning to share toys with peers, or even standing in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
line. These behaviours cannot be
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
 unless the child is involved
within
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a group.
This
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because
Verb problem
is because
show examples
 executive function is complex, and it can only be triggered if the child is in a novel environment, other than his immediate place.
Additionally
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,
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Although
Fix capitalization
although
show examples
 people would think that the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 attending
school
Use synonyms
 is to gain knowledge.
However
Linking Words
,
For
Fix capitalization
for
show examples
 children, it is entirely different. It is about making memories with classmates, participating in
play ground
Use the right word
playground
show examples
 activities, and involvement in extracurricular activities.
This
Linking Words
 will provide the young student with a sense of
purpuse
Correct your spelling
purpose
,
self esteem
Use the right word
self-esteem
show examples
, and
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
Change preposition
of accomplishement
show examples
accomplishement
Correct your spelling
accomplishment
.
Thus
Linking Words
, shaping his personality
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the long term. In conclusion, families tend to choose
Use synonyms
home shooling
Use the right word
homeschooling
show examples
 over regular
school
Use synonyms
 attendance. I completely disagree with the view.
This
Linking Words
 is because
school
Use synonyms
 attendance
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 students with a room to grow
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
functionally, which will reflect
positevely
Correct your spelling
positively
 on
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 personality.

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grammar
Fix small spelling and word form errors, like 'eduction', 'shooling', 'positevely' so the text is clear.
structure
Plan your writing. Start with a short intro that says your view, then two or three reasons, then a short end.
vocabulary
Use link words to connect ideas, like 'first', 'next', 'then', 'but', 'so'.
organization
Keep one idea in each sentence and in each part.
content
Be clear what the proof is. Use real, simple examples that fit the point.
strength
Clear stand against home schooling.
strength
Good use of an example about how kids learn with others.
strength
Parts show ideas in order.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tailor-made curriculum
  • individual learning pace
  • collaborative learning
  • social and emotional development
  • educational resources
  • extracurricular activities
  • learning environment
  • real-world experiences
  • schedule flexibility
  • academic qualifications
  • peer interactions
  • family relationships
  • homeschooling
  • customized education
  • traditional schooling
What to do next:
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