Some people say parent should encourage their children to participate in team activities in the free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss and give your opinion.

Some people argue that families should engage their

children

Use synonyms

in group

activities

Use synonyms

during

spare

Correct pronoun usage

their spare

show examples

time

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others believe that it is essential that

children

Use synonyms

learn to entertain themselves independently. I personally believe that it is preferable if parent

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

their

children

Use synonyms

in group

activities

Use synonyms

as it adds a substantial meaning more than if they are left alone.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both perspectives,

Linking Words

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

I will present my own opinion. First of all, leaving

children

Use synonyms

to decide on entertainment

activities

Use synonyms

by themselves is a good approach to enhance

independency

Replace the word

independence

show examples

This

Linking Words

is because there will be no strict roles or a fixed timing

Change preposition

for

show examples

when to do the activity.

Additionally

Linking Words

, it

provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

spece

Correct your spelling

space

for

youngers

Use the right word

young people

show examples

to practice creativity in producing crafts,

for example

Linking Words

art work

Use the right word

artwork

show examples

or invent a new way to play a game.

As a result

Linking Words

, it improves cognitive functioning since the child is actively setting the terms and playing

accordingly

Linking Words

On the other hand

Linking Words

, parents who

chose

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

their young

children

Use synonyms

in group-based

activities

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

believe that

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

structured planning, especially in

teams’

Check wording

teams

show examples

theme

Fix the agreement mistake

themes

show examples

ensure

Correct subject-verb agreement

ensures

show examples

that their

children

Use synonyms

are fully occupied, safe, and having fun. Primarily, mothers and fathers who work for longer shifts

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

can not always supervise their

children

Use synonyms

on a daily basis.

Thus

Linking Words

, the

children

Use synonyms

’s chances

Change preposition

show examples

engaging in harmful

activities

Use synonyms

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

increased

Change preposition

as increased

show examples

screen

time

Use synonyms

or riding a bike recklessly,

believed

Verb problem

are believed

show examples

to be high. I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

idea,

while

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

are enjoying free

time

Use synonyms

, team

activities

Use synonyms

provide a

well planned

Use the right word

well-planned

show examples

, valuable way to effectively and safely contain young

children

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, some individuals argue that team

activities

Use synonyms

are

ecouraged

Correct your spelling

encouraged

over independent entertainment. In my point of view, group-based

activities

Use synonyms

tend to be well supervised and well structured to manage

children

Use synonyms

’s free

time

Use synonyms

effectiently

Correct your spelling

effectively

ot.raghad

Sep 29, 2025

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content

Explain each view with a clear reason and give at least one example.

organization

Use a simple plan: opening sentence, one idea per paragraph with a topic sentence, then a short ending.

language

Fix spelling and grammar. Words like independency, spece, younger, teams’ theme, effectiently should be corrected.

vocabulary

Choose simple, correct words and avoid rare long forms. Build a steady word use.

cohesion

Add linking words to connect ideas, such as also, however, for example, therefore.

structure

Clear layout with intro, two body parts, and conclusion.

cohesion

Some linking words link ideas well.

stance

The writer has a clear view stated in the essay.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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A rise in chilhood obesity is a real threat to haelth to health with an increasing number of children now classified as overweight.What are the causes of the problem and what measures can be taken to solve them.

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

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Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?