The table below shows the average weekly salaries of men and women working in different occupations.

The table below shows the average weekly salaries of men and women working in different occupations.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The table below shows the average weekly salaries of men and women working in different occupations.
The figure demonstrates the different employment average salaries of
men
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and
women
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on a weekly basis.
Overall
Linking Words
, the average
salary
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of
men
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is higher than that of
women
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,
while
Linking Words
the professional worker has the highest
salary
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in both genders. First of all, the
salary
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in the professional field accounts for the highest amount of money, which shows a slight gap in
salary
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between males and females, just about $100.
Moreover
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, the
salary
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of a manual
laborer
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labourer
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is $1100 for
men
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and $850 for
women
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, which is the lowest income within all occupations.
In contrast
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, there is an extremely huge gap between different genders. People who are technicians might receive various salaries,
for example
Linking Words
, the
salary
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of
men
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is higher as half than that of
women
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. There is the same
salary
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gap for service workers and clerical workers, which is $350. In short,
while
Linking Words
the rank order of jobs is almost identical for
men
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and
women
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,
women
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’s pay is consistently lower and shows a slightly greater variation across occupations.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, salary with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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