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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or a college lecture.

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or a college lecture.
The bar graph and pie chart illustrate the average number of working
hours
Use synonyms
 and the
levels
Use synonyms
 of
stress
Use synonyms
 across eight career fields.
Overall
Linking Words
, businessmen
work
Use synonyms
 the longest
hours
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 professors
work
Use synonyms
 the fewest.
By contrast
Linking Words
, lecturers experience the highest
levels
Use synonyms
 of
stress
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 programmers report the lowest
levels
Use synonyms
 of psychological problems.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the bar graph shows that entrepreneurs
work
Use synonyms
 the longest, averaging around 70
hours
Use synonyms
 per week.
In contrast
Linking Words
, lecturers
work
Use synonyms
 the shortest
hours
Use synonyms
, at approximately 25
hours
Use synonyms
 per week. Other professions,
such
Linking Words
 as editors and programmers, fall somewhere in between. Turning to the pie chart, the proportion of people suffering from psychological problems is highest among professors, at about 25%, which is three times higher than the figures for editors and computer operators. Interestingly, the data suggest an inverse relationship between working
hours
Use synonyms
 and
stress
Use synonyms
levels
Use synonyms
:
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 individuals with fewer working
hours
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 tend to report higher
stress
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.
For example
Linking Words
, academic teachers
work
Use synonyms
 relatively short
hours
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 but show a significant proportion of
stress
Use synonyms
-related issues.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, levels, stress, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average hours worked
  • stress levels
  • professional groups
  • correlation
  • highest/lowest
  • reported
  • variations
  • data
  • trends
  • patterns
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