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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US, and the effect of children on the overall ratings of married couples. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US, and the effect of children on the overall ratings of married couples. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph illustrates the results of a survey on happiness rating for married and unmarried people in the United States, and the effect of
children
Use synonyms
 on the
overall
Linking Words
 rating og married couples, including different ages in percentage. From the statistics, we can clearly see that
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are married are happier than singles. The rate of happiness in the youngest couples who are between 18 to 29 is higher than the others, but in a slightly different
.
Check wording
way.
show examples
Also
Linking Words
, the percentage is an increase in the
elderies
Correct your spelling
elderly
 who are 85 and over.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the unmarried who are the youngest have the lowest
per cent
Use the right word
percentage
show examples
 of joyfulness. The married couples who have
children
Use synonyms
 are glad, but just who have under 18 kids are better, reaching 44%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the families who have
children
Use synonyms
 over 18 are less pleased, but
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a slight decrease
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 3%.
Also
Linking Words
, people who don't have
children
Use synonyms
 are fine with 43 per
cnt
Correct your spelling
cent
. In conclusion, the trend generally demonstrates that people who are married and have kids are happier than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others, and just the
elderiest
Correct your spelling
elderly
 singles who are 85 and over are glad that they are singles.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words children with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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