IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People continue to recommit crimes even after being penalized for their wrongdoings. Why do you think this happens? How can crimes be stopped?

The
reason
Use synonyms
 why
people
Use synonyms
 commit
crimes
Use synonyms
 again after the punishment
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been discussed for years. Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe it is because of their environment
Punctuation problem
, other
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 think it is a psychological issue. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will be discussing
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the reasons why they recommit the
crimes
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 and how
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be stopped. One of the major
Use synonyms
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 is the lack of support from the
government
Use synonyms
 or public. Most criminals do not have any funding or support from the
government
Use synonyms
 when they are
release
Replace the word
released
show examples
 from
prison
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 the risk of them going back to crime.
For example
Linking Words
 , A thief will go back to theft if he does not have
any
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 place to live.To address
this
Linking Words
 , the
government
Use synonyms
 should adopt housing schemes and
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
 for them
thereby
Punctuation problem
, thereby
show examples
 prompting their independence. Another major
reason
Use synonyms
 is
Bad
Correct article usage
a Bad
show examples
 environment with friends
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
comit
Correct your spelling
commit
crimes
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
 the peer pressure from their friends and
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
show examples
 environment. Most
Fix the agreement mistake
ex-convicts
show examples
ex-convict
Use synonyms
 are pushed back into the crime world. To illustrate, it was recently reported by the Times of India that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 more college students are getting involved in the
drug dealing
Use the right word
drug-dealing
show examples
 business than ever before.
This
Linking Words
 is solely because they have a tight network
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
. To tackle
this
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should improve
prison
Use synonyms
 programs with education, skills and basic health care. The final
reason
Use synonyms
 is the stigma , unfair rules and lack of second chances attached to an
ex-convict
Use synonyms
. Most employers do not want to employ them because of their past
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is not
fair
Punctuation problem
fair,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 others will employ them but pay
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very little.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 believe that criminals can not change . They think that once a criminal
always
Verb problem
is always
show examples
criminal
Correct article usage
a criminal
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is a bad perspective. With these
treatment
Fix the agreement mistake
treatments
show examples
, many
Use synonyms
ex-convict
Fix the agreement mistake
ex-convicts
show examples
 might
pushed
Verb problem
be pushed
show examples
 back
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 illegal activities. A survey on the lives of
Use synonyms
ex-convict
Fix the agreement mistake
ex-convicts
show examples
 after
prison
Use synonyms
 showed that 60%
Fix the agreement mistake
ex-convicts
show examples
ex-convict
Use synonyms
 are pushed back to the criminal world because of the public perception of them . One effective solution to
this
Linking Words
 issue is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
promoting jobs for
Use synonyms
ex-convict
Fix the agreement mistake
ex-convicts
show examples
 and
encourages
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to
them
Verb problem
hire them
show examples
 because they deserve another shot at life . Seminars and workshops can be conducted to change the perspective of
Use synonyms
ex-convict
Fix the agreement mistake
ex-convicts
show examples
. In conclusion, the reasons why
Use synonyms
ex-convict
Fix the agreement mistake
ex-convicts
show examples
 commit
crimes
Use synonyms
 should not be overlooked or ignored. The
governmentshould
Correct your spelling
government should
 ensure
thst
Correct your spelling
that
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 are better
prison
Use synonyms
 programs to promote education, skills so that when
people
Use synonyms
 go into the public. They will be able to get a job through
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 and education
Linking Words
hence
Punctuation problem
, hence
show examples
 reducing the risk of going back to crime.

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planning
Plan your essay before you write. Make a short plan with main ideas in order.
structure
Write a clear thesis in the intro and restate it in the conclusion.
content
Explain each point in a full sentence and add one clear example for support.
coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas connect, not only 'and' or 'also'.
editing
Fix basic grammar and spelling: 'commit', 'government', 'ex-convict', 'therefore'.
lexical
Keep words simple and consistent; avoid repeating the same phrases.
content
The essay has a clear topic and tries to discuss causes and solutions.
coherence
Some good linking phrases are used, such as 'To illustrate' and 'To tackle this'.
content
There are attempts to give examples and numbers.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime
  • punish
  • repeat
  • why
  • how
  • stop
  • help
  • person
  • life
  • job
  • work
  • school
  • family
  • health
  • drug
  • drink
  • poverty
  • unemployment
  • support
  • release
  • prison
  • plan
  • change
  • hope
  • stigma
  • trust
  • community
  • prevention
  • justice
  • law
  • police
  • judge
  • housing
  • training
  • money
  • friend
  • risk
  • care
  • respect
What to do next:
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