IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People generally know that the environment is important. However, most individuals still don't take responsibilities to protect the environment. Why is this? What should be done to encourage people to protect the environment? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

There is no doubt that these days a healthy environment is crucial for all creatures'
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. The question is
why
Punctuation problem
, why
show examples
most
Correct word order
don't most people
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 don't take the responsibility to protect it? In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I'm going to analyse the reasons
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and try to find effective ways to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to look after the environment.
However
Linking Words
, the communities think that the governments should be responsible for environmental protection, because one of the main reasons for pollution is the companies.
For example
Linking Words
, the black smoke from the factories causes harmful damage to nature, and
people
Use synonyms
 cannot find a solution to
this
Linking Words
 problem by themselves.
Moreover
Linking Words
, one of the important reasons is the clean workers
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it's their job to clean the street and take care of the gardens and the public places.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
show examples
 the environment is the individual's case, and to solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Punctuation problem
problem,
show examples
 we should start with kids
due to
Linking Words
 they will grow with a sense of duty to save the world.
Also
Linking Words
, they should
ba
Use the right word
be
show examples
 campaigns
go
Correct pronoun usage
that go
show examples
 on trips through the cities and make fun activities to encourage the societies to protect the public places, and the companies replace the bad metals with eco-friendly stuff. In conclusion, it's evident that all
people
Use synonyms
 care about the place that they live in, and they want to be clean, healthy, beautiful, and safe. But they should
realised
Verb problem
have realised
show examples
 that
this
Linking Words
 place cannot exist without their collaboration to build a proper place to live in, and started a good foundation to have a next great generation.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your essay before writing. Write a short intro, 2-3 body para, and a clear conclusion.
planning
Start each body paragraph with a clear topic sentence that states the point you will discuss.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas fit, such as 'also', 'but', 'for this reason', and 'in addition'.
content
Give exact facts or ideas to back your point, like a rule from a government or a real school campaign.
language
Check grammar and word order. Shorten long phrases and fix mistakes.
structure
End with a clear conclusion that restates your main view.
idea
You raise a real topic and give a plan to work on it.
content
Some good points on schools and public actions.
examples
You mention examples about factories and clean work in towns.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: