Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that
education
Use synonyms
is important for teenagers.
While
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it is
commnaly
Correct your spelling
commonly
held belief that students should continue
thier
Correct your spelling
their
full time
Use the right word
full-time
show examples
education
Use synonyms
until the age of 18,
threre
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there
is
also
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an argument that they can leave
school
Use synonyms
earlier. In my opinion. I consider that young
people
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should stay in
school
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to learn until they are 18
To begin
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with,
school
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gives young
people
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the
besic
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basic
knowledge and skills they need for life.
In other words
Linking Words
, if
studens
Correct your spelling
students
leave
school
Use synonyms
early, they might not be able to find jobs in the future.
many
Fix capitalization
Many
show examples
jobs nowadays require certificates, and
school
Use synonyms
can prepare them for the workforce.
In addition
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, staying in
school
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
them to learn responsibility.
For example
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, they need to follow rules,
finsh
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finish
homework, and prepare for exams, which are useful habits for
thier
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their
future work, and daily life
staly
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study
Another point to consider is that
education
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until 18 protects
younf
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young
people
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from problems. It is
also
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possible to say that teenagers who are busy with
school
Use synonyms
are less likely to be involved in crime or unhealthy habits.
Moreover
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, schools give students a safe place to develop.
For instance
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, teachers can give advice and support when young
people
Use synonyms
face
iusses
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issues
, which is something they may not always find at home In conclusion, despite
people
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having different views, I
belive
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believe
show examples
that teenagers should continue their
full time
Use the right word
full-time
show examples
education
Use synonyms
until the age of 18.
This
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is because schools give them the knowledge, and
protact
Correct your spelling
protect
them
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
social problems

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content
Plan your ideas first. Add a view that some people think you may leave school early, and then argue why you still agree with staying to 18.
coherence
Use more link words to show how ideas connect and make the flow smooth.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Fix common errors in sentences like 'In my opinion' and 'they' to 'they are'.
content
Give more strong examples and details to back up each point.
strength
Clear stance is stated.
strength
Structure with intro, body and conclusion is easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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