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Writing Samples
Band 7

Biotechnology companies all over the world are developing different types of genetically modified (GM) crops. However, not enough is known about these crops on our health and the environment. Interfering with nature in this way should be prohibited. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Biotechnology companies have significantly improved living standards through the development of genetically modified organisms (
GMOs
Use synonyms
).
While
Linking Words
 some argue that these innovations pose potential risks to human health and the environment, I believe that the benefits they bring far outweigh the drawbacks, and
Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
show examples
GMOs
Use synonyms
 should not be prohibited. On the one hand, genetically modified crops may pose certain health and environmental risks.
Although
Linking Words
GMOs
Use synonyms
 are often designed to enhance nutritional value, some individuals may suffer allergic reactions or other side effects that have not yet been fully researched. From an environmental perspective, intensive cultivation of
such
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 crops can reduce soil fertility, as genetically engineered plants may require more nutrients than traditional varieties. Over time,
this
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 could contribute to land degradation if not managed properly.
On the other hand
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, the advantages of
GMOs
Use synonyms
 for society are substantial.
Firstly
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, genetically modified crops can contain higher levels of essential nutrients, helping people access healthier diets and reducing global hunger.
For example
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, bioengineered rice varieties enriched with vitamin A have been used to combat malnutrition in developing countries.
Secondly
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,
GMOs
Use synonyms
 can withstand harsh weather conditions, meaning that food can be produced consistently even during droughts or in unconventional growing seasons.
This
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 not only increases food security but
also
Linking Words
 reduces the threat posed by climate change to agriculture. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 genetically modified organisms raise some valid concerns regarding health and the environment, their potential to fight malnutrition, ensure food security, and adapt to climate challenges is undeniable.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that
GMOs
Use synonyms
 should continue to be developed and carefully regulated, rather than banned altogether

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areas for improvement
Try to add more strong examples from health or environment to back up each main point.
coherence
Use more linking words to show contrast and result.
structure
Make each paragraph have a topic sentence that states the main idea.
grammar and facts
Check facts about GMOs to keep ideas clear and true.
task response
Shows clear view and a steady position on GMO use.
coherence
Good choice of sign posts like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.
examples
Gives a real example with vitamin A rice.
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