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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the per capita consumption of whole milk and low-fat milk in the United States between 1970 and 2015.

The graph below shows the per capita consumption of whole milk and low-fat milk in the United States between 1970 and 2015.
The line graph shows how
many
Fix the agreement mistake
much
show examples
 whole
milk
Use synonyms
 and low-fat
milk
Use synonyms
consumed
Verb problem
were consumed
show examples
 per person in
gallons
Use synonyms
 in the United States from 1970 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 rate of whole
milk
Use synonyms
 decreased significantly,
while
Linking Words
 the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of low-fat
milk
Use synonyms
 generally increased over the period.
In addition
Linking Words
, combustion of both types of
milk
Use synonyms
 witnessed a slight decline between 2010 and 2015.1 As the graph shows, the per capita
consumption
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 whole
milk
Use synonyms
 started at 25
gallons
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 and experienced a considerable decrease to 5
gallons
Use synonyms
 between 1970 and 2015 and showed the lowest results
result
Verb problem
apply
show examples
despite
of
Change preposition
apply
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starting at the highest point.2
By contrast
Linking Words
, the
consumption
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 of low-fat
milk
Use synonyms
 started at just over 5
gallons
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 and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just below 15
gallons
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. After witnessing a moderate increase, it remained unchanged in the
30 years
Correct your spelling
30-year
 period. Even though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it
kept
Verb problem
remained
show examples
 unchanged between 1990 and 2010 , it experienced a slight decrease to around 13
gallons
Use synonyms
 in 2015.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words milk, gallons, consumption with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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