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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many experts have noted that people in modern society do not exercise often. What is a cause and solution to this problem?

Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about whether many
people
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 do not
exercise
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 regularly.
This
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 essay will discuss the causes and solutions to problems. On the one hand, many
people
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 do not
exercise
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 regularly in today's society because they become discouraged if they do not see immediate results. It is commonly known that most
people
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 have a desire to
exercise
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 and become healthy, but since noticeable results and improvements in health are gradual, most
people
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 lose their motivation to
exercise
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.
According to
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the
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apply
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recent research, most
people
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 report that the reason they choose not to
exercise
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 is
because
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that
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 they lack a strong motivation and their efforts seem to have no positive effect.
For
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this
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 reason, most
people
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 become disappointed and stop exercising despite its many benefits.
On the other hand
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, to encourage
people
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 to
exercise
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 regularly,
people
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 should develop an
exercise
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 program
that is
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 tailored to their particular specifications. Many health experts believe that
people
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 should acknowledge their personal physical fitness level and develop realistic goals that can be achieved gradually.
This
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 can be done by following a fixed
exercise
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 routine that can be adjusted to increase difficulty as one's health condition improves.
Therefore
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, to encourage
people
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 to
exercise
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 regularly, it is important to remember to set realistic goals that match one's fitness level. In conclusion, even though many
people
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 in modern society lack a strong motivation to
exercise
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, developing realistic
exercise
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 goals and measuring progress can encourage more
people
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 to
exercise
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.

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content
Your essay has a good layout with intro, body, and conclusion. It would be stronger if the intro gave a clear main idea and plan.
structure
Link ideas with simple words to connect them well, and avoid repeating phrases. Use transitions like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'so' to move ideas.
content
Add one short example for each main point to show how the idea works in real life.
language
Check small grammar and keep tenses and pronouns right.
structure
The essay has clear structure: intro, body, and conclusion.
content
The topic is clear and you discuss causes and solutions.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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