IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.
The line chart provides key information about the
quantitiy
Correct your spelling
quantity
 of
books
Use synonyms
had
Verb problem
apply
show examples
read by both sexes at
Burnaby
Correct article usage
the Burnaby
show examples
public library
Fix capitalization
Public Library
show examples
 in the years from 2011 to 2014. The units are measured by
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
books
Use synonyms
 read.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the diagram that
men
Use synonyms
 had the largest share of
Use synonyms
books
Fix the agreement mistake
book
show examples
intrested
Correct your spelling
interest
 throughout the period.
Wherase
Correct your spelling
Whereas
, ladies
showd
Correct your spelling
showed
 the minimal
concerned
Replace the word
concern
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
books
Use synonyms
compeard
Correct your spelling
compared
 with
men
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same years.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
men
Use synonyms
 started with
aboot
Correct your spelling
about
 3000
books
Use synonyms
 in 2011, but later
men
Use synonyms
favored
Verb problem
preferred
show examples
 to read more
books
Use synonyms
, because the number
jaumped
Correct your spelling
jumped
 to 14000
books
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
edage
Correct your spelling
decade
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, women offered
disfavored
Replace the word
a disfavour
show examples
 of reading , they began with below 4500
books
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 formed
flactuated
Replace the word
a fluctuating
show examples
 rate,
untile
Use the right word
until
show examples
 2013 they appeared
droped
Wrong verb form
to drop
show examples
from 10000 to nearly 7000
books
Use synonyms
. Which
genrarly
Correct your spelling
generally
reflect
Correct subject-verb agreement
reflects
show examples
 that
men
Use synonyms
 have
immense
Correct word choice
more
show examples
 time than ladies to spend on reading.
While
Linking Words
 women had extreme
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
 among their
houshlods
Correct your spelling
households
 and children.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words books, men with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • library
  • gender
  • reading habits
  • compare
  • significantly
  • trends
  • increase/decrease
  • consistent
  • fluctuate
  • period
  • summarise
  • graph
  • public library
  • books read
  • Burnaby Public Library
  • 2011 to 2014
  • male
  • female
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