Young people are often influenced by their peers. This is called peer group pressure. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Young

community

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

show examples

always tend to compare themselves with their cohort for satisfaction, motivation or even envy.

Such

Linking Words

peer group pressure sometimes seems to provide you with stimulation and even orientation.

However

Linking Words

, in my opinion,

this

Linking Words

behaviour has the potential to lead to more negative emotions. Some individuals could find something positive through the comparison with their age. In a study, people can synthesise a better solution to a math question by contrasting each other's; in a career, a young person can be motivated by their contemporaries' different job choices,

thus

Linking Words

choosing a suitable but never thought one. What's more, when you recognise you have a better life than someone

, s

Rephrase

else, s

show examples

sense of satisfaction and joy appear.

However

Linking Words

, always being influenced by their peers is not only a waste of time but

also

Linking Words

a catalyst

Change preposition

for

show examples

negative emotions. When people consciously compare themselves with others, if

this

Linking Words

person is better off,

this

Linking Words

individual may feel anxious and envious, causing mental

disorder

Fix the agreement mistake

disorders

show examples

and more terribly affecting normal growth orders.

In addition

Linking Words

, investing considerable time and energy into analysing others' lives couldn't really change people's life

track

Fix the agreement mistake

tracks

show examples

. It is just a waste of time. Enjoying and focusing on own life is more valuable. In conclusion, peer pressure can lead to some short-term influence

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

if you want long-term benefits, it is important to shield

such

Linking Words

pressure sometimes.

asllchkied

Oct 3, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Plan a clear view in the intro. Say your main point and how you will show it. Then give two sides and finish with a clear view of your own.

coherence and cohesion

Make the flow clear. Use simple words to show order. Use sign posts like first, then, also, but, in the end. Try to keep one idea in each paragraph.

task response

Give clear examples that fit the point. Keep each example close to the point you make and use easy facts.

content

The essay shows some plan and gives both pros and cons.

coherence

It uses linking words like However and In addition.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

224 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

peer
peers
group
pressure
influence
positive
negative
advantage
disadvantage
benefit
harm
choice
decision
safe
risk
study
work
class
club
team
belong
trust
help
advice
say no
self
confidence
future
model
example
rule
limit
agree
talk

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
you have just read an article in a national newspapaer which claims that town centres in your country all look very similar to each other. You don’t fully agree with this opinion. •Write a letter to the editor of the newspapaer. In your letter •Say which points in the article you agree with •Explain ways in which your town centre is different from most other town centres •Offer to give a guided tour of your town to the writer of article
I am writing in response to your recent article titled "The Homogenisation of Town Centres Across the Country." While I acknowledge the author’s observation that many town centres exhibit similar characteristics, I believe the conclusion oversimplifies the diversity that still exists in these urban spaces.
7.5
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is believed that the presence of science should advance society's living standards. I fully agree with this statement and will explain some evidence that supports this statement from the medical and robotic science advancement perspective.
6.5
band
There are many benefits to a good eduction. Therefore, a university education should be offered to all students, not just students with good high school grades. Do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued that not only students with high academic performance in high school but also other students should have access to university education. From my perspective, this argument is compelling, as access to university education should be a right for all students, regardless of their high school grades.
8
band
We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
I partially disagree with the assertion that we are incapable of extending our assistance to all individuals in need worldwide, and, therefore, should limit our concern to our local communities and countries. In this essay, I will elaborate on my perspective and provide reasons supporting this viewpoint.
6.5
band
People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that individuals who are satisfied with their working life are those who decide early in their life about which career they want in the future more than those who do not decide. I totally agree with this statement, because people who decide early focus only on their development in their career path.

Young people are often influenced by their peers. This is called peer group pressure. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There are many benefits to a good eduction. Therefore, a university education should be offered to all students, not just students with good high school grades. Do you agree or disagree?

We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree?