IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. How far do you share this view point?

In Hong Kong, the gap between the rich and the poor is huge. The income difference between the privileged and the pauper is overwhelming.
For example
Linking Words
, people
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 who live in
villa
Correct article usage
a villa
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 are
haing
Correct your spelling
having
 lunch which
costed
Verb problem
costs
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 over
thousands
Punctuation problem
thousands,
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Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is already a
month
Check wording
month's
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 salary for the poor. If we donate a fixed amount of our income, the rich may still have over
million
Correct article usage
a million
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 or even
billion
Correct article usage
a billion
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 left,
however
Linking Words
, it could be
losting
Correct your spelling
losing
 their food budget in next month for the poor. Because of the stressed
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
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 of the poor, it is
imposible
Correct your spelling
impossible
 that different people who have different money
reserve
Fix the agreement mistake
reserves
show examples
 donate the same to support
cahrity
Correct your spelling
charity
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples

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coherence and structure
Say your view clearly in the first line and have a short end to restate it. Add more facts or numbers to show how fixed giving may work or not.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words to join ideas. Use words like and, but, also, then, so. Put each big idea in a new paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Build your ideas in order. One idea for each paragraph. Start with why you think fixed giving is not fair, then give a better way.
task response
In task response, answer all parts of the task. If the task asks for both sides, show them, then say your view.
task response
Use clear detail. Give one or two specific examples or facts that the reader can see or count.
strength
The writer shows a clear view against the idea of fixed giving.
strength
There is a real life idea of how rich and poor can differ.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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