IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays parents in many countries give their children more freedom than in the past. Is this a positive or negative trend?

In
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 time, some families in many nations tend to give their
children
Use synonyms
 more
freedom
Use synonyms
 compared to the past.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 change has some problems, I believe the advantages are greater than
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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. Giving
children
Use synonyms
 more
freedom
Use synonyms
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Use the right word
an
show examples
 early age can be beneficial for their future and build a strong personality.
Firstly
Linking Words
, boosts creativity and confidence. To illustrate,
freedom
Use synonyms
 allows kids to discover their hobbies and improve their skills, which help them in their
adults’
Fix the agreement mistake
adult’
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 lives and future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 as well.
Secondly
Linking Words
, encourage independence and responsibility.
For example
Linking Words
, gain real-life experience
;
Punctuation problem
,
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such
Linking Words
 as
making-decision
Use the right word
making decisions
show examples
 and
face
Replace the word
facing
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challenge
Fix the agreement mistake
challenges
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 without
parents
Check wording
parents'
show examples
 help,
this
Linking Words
 will support them to be adaptable in society. Another
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
 is that it
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
strengthens family bonds.
In other words
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 need respect and trust from their parents.
Therefore
Linking Words
, younger
feel
Check wording
people feel
show examples
 comfortable and happy communicating with them.
For instance
Linking Words
, they are free to choose what they want to wear or eat.
This
Linking Words
 simple decision
build
Correct subject-verb agreement
builds
show examples
 trust between parents and
children
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 too much
freedom
Use synonyms
 nowadays brings some drawbacks
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 younger
, I
Check wording
people, I
show examples
 firmly believe that it is a great way to explore
Use synonyms
children
Check wording
children's
show examples
 abilities and build strong relationships.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is
parents’
Correct article usage
the parents’
show examples
 responsibility to prepare kids to face their future with a strong personality.

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content
Add more detail to each point. give clear reasons and more real examples.
organization
Have one main idea in each paragraph, with a short opening sentence and then a detail.
grammar
Fix the grammar and form. Use phrases like 'at an early age', 'adults' lives', 'these simple choices build'.
linking
Use small link words to help flow, like first, also, but, however.
grammar
Check noun and verb form: 'Another benefit', 'these decisions build' (not 'builds' when you have many).
structure
The writer has a clear view and keeps it to the end.
content
There are real examples that show ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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