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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the spending by 18-20 years olds in one country on five different products in 2010 and 2014. Provide an overview on the information by identifying and describing the key details and include comparisons where appropriate

The chart below shows the spending by 18-20 years olds in one country on five different products in 2010 and 2014. Provide an overview on the information by identifying and describing the key details and include comparisons where appropriate
The chart illustrates the amount of money spent by adults in one country on five categories (
food
Use synonyms
, clothes,
books
Use synonyms
,
smartphones
Use synonyms
, and toiletries) in 2010 and 2014, measured in US dollars.
Overall
Linking Words
,
food
Use synonyms
 and clothing accounted for the largest share of spending in both years,
while
Linking Words
books
Use synonyms
 consistently received the least expenditure. Spending on
food
Use synonyms
,
smartphones
Use synonyms
, and toiletries increased over the period,
whereas
Linking Words
books
Use synonyms
 declined sharply, and clothing remained unchanged. In terms of rising expenditures, spending on
food
Use synonyms
 rose from about $3,600 in 2010 to roughly $4,500 in 2014.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the outlay on
smartphones
Use synonyms
 grew significantly by around 35%, reaching $2,600 in 2014. Expenditure on toiletries
also
Linking Words
 edged up slightly from $1,900 to $2,000.
By contrast
Linking Words
, spending on
books
Use synonyms
 halved from $1,000 to just $500, marking the steepest decline among all items. Meanwhile, clothing remained stable at $2,500 in both years. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
 and
smartphones
Use synonyms
 became increasingly important in adults’ budgets over time,
books
Use synonyms
 lost a significant share of spending, and clothing expenditure showed no change.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, books, smartphones with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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