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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows social and economic indicators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. Describe the information shown below in your own words.

The table below shows social and economic indicators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. Describe the information shown below in your own words.
The tabular data illustrates four key social and economic factors for four distinct nations(
Canada
Use synonyms
,
Japan
Use synonyms
,
Peru
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
Zaire
Correct word choice
and Zaire
show examples
) in 1994. The data is taken from United Nations statistics.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Canda
Use the right word
Canada
show examples
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
 give each other
though
Use the right word
tough
show examples
compeition
Correct your spelling
competition
 in each factor, and
dominated
Wrong verb form
dominate
show examples
 the remaining two
countries
Use synonyms
 in terms of economy and education . Their daily
calories
Fix the agreement mistake
calorie
show examples
supplement
Check wording
intake
show examples
 and life expectancy
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 far more than
citizend
Correct your spelling
citizens
 in
Peru
Use synonyms
 and
Zaire
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 , individuals in
Canada
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
japan
Fix capitalization
Japan
show examples
 had higher incomes of $11100 and $15760
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
 .
Additionally
Linking Words
 , life expectancy at birth in
Japan
Use synonyms
 is 78
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is slightly higher than
Use synonyms
Change preposition
in canada
show examples
canada
Fix capitalization
Canada
show examples
(76). Regarding daily calories input,
Use synonyms
canada
Fix capitalization
Canada
show examples
 stood at a higher amount of 3326,
whereas
Linking Words
Use synonyms
japan
Fix capitalization
Japan
show examples
 accounted
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 approximately 2846. In terms of adult literacy
rate
Add a comma
rate,
show examples
 both shared
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 percentage of 99%.
On the contrary
Linking Words
 ,regarding
Use synonyms
peru
Fix capitalization
Peru
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
zaire
Fix capitalization
Zaire
show examples
, both are developing
countries
Use synonyms
 and were in no
competiton
Correct your spelling
competition
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 developed
countries
Use synonyms
(
Use synonyms
canada
Fix capitalization
Canada
show examples
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
). The two
countries
Use synonyms
 had little income of $160,$130 per person
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. Being born in
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
show examples
 country, the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 have low life expectancy
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
50's
Check wording
50s
show examples
 only, they have
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 adult literacy rate of 68 for
Use synonyms
peru
Fix capitalization
Peru
show examples
 and 34 for
Use synonyms
zaire
Fix capitalization
Zaire
show examples
. Compared to developed
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
their
Punctuation problem
, their
show examples
 daily
calories
Fix the agreement mistake
calorie
show examples
 supply is quite low
standing
Punctuation problem
, standing
show examples
 at 1927 and 1749 for
Use synonyms
peru
Fix capitalization
Peru
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
zaire
Fix capitalization
Zaire
show examples
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, accordingly
show examples
accordingly
Rephrase
respectively
show examples
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, japan, peru, zaire, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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