IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some argue that it is the responsibility of the parents to teach children about healthy eating habits, whereas others believe that teachers should be responsible for teaching their students how to eat in a healthy way. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Healthy eating habits can play
the
Correct article usage
a
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 pivotal role in
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of
child
Correct article usage
a child
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. It has always been
debateable
Correct your spelling
debatable
weather
Use the right word
whether
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teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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 or
parents
Use synonyms
 should be responsible for these habits. I believe that both have
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
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 role to play as kids spend
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 amount of their time with them. We will discuss both
opinin
Correct your spelling
opinions
 in detail in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
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 paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, children spend most of their time at home and their habits are shaped
accordingly
Linking Words
what
Change preposition
to what
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 they see at home.
For example
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, if they see their guardians making bad eating choices , they
also
Linking Words
 try to imitate them.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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its
Use the right word
it's
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 in
parent's
Check wording
parents'
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 hands what they bring to
Correct article usage
the dinning
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dinning
Use the right word
dining
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 table for
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 ones.
so
Fix capitalization
So
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,
its
Use the right word
it's
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responsibility
Correct article usage
the responsibility
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 of elders to make nutritious food choices. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand, kids trust
teacher
Correct pronoun usage
their teacher
show examples
 with what they teach them .So,
its
Use the right word
it's
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 important to create
environment
Correct article usage
an environment
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 in class that fosters
a
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apply
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clean and mindful eating.
Moreover
Linking Words
, kid in class
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along
Punctuation problem
, along
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 with their
peer
Punctuation problem
peer,
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 creates
ripple
Correct article usage
a ripple
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 effect of healthy ways of eating and
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
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 diet that
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 acquire from their
parents
Use synonyms
 .So,
tuitors
Correct your spelling
tutors
 can just give positive feedback to ones eating healthy ,which will influence others to eat healthy. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 would say that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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as well as
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
 have to act
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
team
Correct article usage
a team
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 to
promoting
Wrong verb form
promote
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healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 diet in children.
Use synonyms
parents
Fix capitalization
Parents
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 should practise bringing healthy food at home,
while
Linking Words
 teachers should make sure that pupils eat it in
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 way and
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 good remarks.

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structure
Plan before you write. Say your view first, then add two main points with simple links.
grammar
Fix grammar. Use proper verb form, articles, and end sentences with a dot.
lexical
Use very simple words. Avoid hard words. Keep to common words.
coherence
Use easy connects like First, Next, Then, Finally to join ideas.
content
The essay shows both sides and gives a clear end.
structure
It has a main idea in two parts: home life and class life.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutritional education
  • role models
  • healthy eating habits
  • dietary choices
  • nutrition curriculum
  • collaborative effort
  • school-based initiatives
  • accessible
  • health-conscious
  • consistent messages
  • ripple effect
  • lifestyle choices
What to do next:
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