IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people today are worried about ‘cybercrime’ such as hacking and identity theft. What problems does ‘cybercrime’ cause, and what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and businesses to take? Give reasons for your answer, and provide ideas and examples from your own experience.

Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 are concerned
over
Change preposition
about
show examples
 internet-based crimes
such
Linking Words
 as stealing individuals’ identities and
unauthorized
Change the spelling
unauthorised
show examples
 access to private data.
This
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 essay will discuss the
concequences
Correct your spelling
consequences
 of illegal web-based actions, and provide
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 for regular
people
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 and
businesses
Fix the agreement mistake
business
show examples
 owners.
Firstly
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, the expansion of online trading has offered
people
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a variety of
chocies
Correct your spelling
choices
Punctuation problem
, starting
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starting
Verb problem
ranging
show examples
 from shopping
Change preposition
for furnitures
show examples
furnitures
Correct your spelling
furniture
 to
just
Rephrase
apply
show examples
buying daily groceries. But with the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 virtual theft
incidence
Fix the agreement mistake
incidents
show examples
,
people
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 are now hesitant in making online
transections
Use the right word
transactions
show examples
 even when the
website
Use synonyms
 seems
well trusted
Use the right word
well-trusted
show examples
.
Thus
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, shopping habits have changed, as not many
people
Use synonyms
 get easily attracted to items displayed virtually.
This
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 is
paritcularly
Correct your spelling
particularly
 problematic as it
well
Use the right word
will
show examples
 negatively
imapct
Correct your spelling
impact
 new
businesses’
Fix the agreement mistake
business’
show examples
 owners
who their
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
 brands are not yet known by the public.
On the other hand
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, online
brands
Fix the agreement mistake
brand
show examples
 owners find it challenging to keep their
website
Use synonyms
 safe from hacking. For
exmaple
Correct your spelling
example
, some hackers mirror design a webpage resembling the
payement
Correct your spelling
payment
 page from the original
website
Use synonyms
.
As a result
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, consumers
accediently
Correct your spelling
accidentally
 get scammed without even the owners’ knowledge, which
destroy
Correct subject-verb agreement
destroys
show examples
 the reputation of the
start up
Use the right word
startup
show examples
businesse
Correct your spelling
businesses
. For the solution, it is
recommonded
Correct your spelling
recommended
 for newly developed digital markets to install
securiy
Correct your spelling
security
 walls to prevent illegal invasion of confidential identity and financial data.
Thie
Use the right word
This
show examples
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
will
reduces
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 hacking practices and protect the clients.
However
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, for regular individuals, it may be helpful to set
two step
Use the right word
two-step
show examples
verfication
Correct your spelling
verification
 for
payement
Correct your spelling
payment
, so the scammers can not easily access private information
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a password only.
Additionally
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,
people
Use synonyms
 should check if the
website
Use synonyms
 is legal and trusted by
govermental
Correct your spelling
governmental
 authority, by primarily viewing the
businesses’
Check wording
business’s
show examples
 license. In
conlcusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, reduce online
salaes’
Check wording
salaes
show examples
 rate occurred
because
Change preposition
apply
show examples
due to
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 internet-based crimes
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 in
return
Check wording
turn
show examples
 has affected new businesses
development
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
However
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, by
enhancign securtiy
Correct your spelling
enhancing security
 protection for online
transections
Use the right word
transactions
show examples
,
as well as
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 providing
verfied
Correct your spelling
verified
 ways for payment,
this
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 can protect consumers and newly developing online
botiques
Correct your spelling
boutiques
.

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planning
Plan your essay with three parts: short intro, body with two or three ideas, and a short ending.
coherence
Use clear links to move from one idea to the next. Start each paragraph with a topic line.
grammar
Check your spelling and grammar so the reader can see your meaning.
content
Give full examples and show how they prove your point. Explain why the example matters.
structure
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and end with a small link to the next idea.
editing
Check your facts and write in a simple way. Use a light tone and short sentences.
idea
You talk about a real issue: crime on the web and how it affects people and shops.
proposal
You give ideas for how to keep data safe, and for two step check.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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