IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Computer do not help children learn more effectively. On the contrary, the use of computer has a negative effect on children’s physical and mental development. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Technology
had
Wrong verb form
has
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shape
Replace the word
shaped
show examples
 our lives, and
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 impact on our
behaivor
Correct your spelling
behaviour
,
also
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 would
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 the
children
Use synonyms
, but I believe that if we use the computers properly
Punctuation problem
, with
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with had
Wrong verb form
it would have
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 effect greater than the
nigative
Correct your spelling
negative
. In several
in
Change preposition
apply
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ways, like education, and for enjoyment
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is the purpose for
children
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
education
Check wording
apply
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nowadays
Punctuation problem
nowadays,
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 are capable of
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
 more
due to
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 the internet, and what's
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
information and
simplicty
Correct your spelling
simplicity
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 at the moment there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 lots of apps and websites that help
children
Use synonyms
 to practice new
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 or even math
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 the app
duolingo
Fix capitalization
Duolingo
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 you can
stduy Engilsh
Correct your spelling
study English
 or solve a
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
 in math.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, the process of
learing
Correct your spelling
learning
 can be attractive to kids as they study, because it
is look
Wrong verb form
looks
show examples
 like a game, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it easy and enjoyable for them.
Then
Linking Words
, having fun for kids, I think
this
Linking Words
 is great to feel whatever you were
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
 or not, but for them,
that
Verb problem
that's
show examples
 what they
looking
Verb problem
are looking
show examples
 for most of the day
playing
Punctuation problem
, playing
show examples
, and
been
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 happy. So since computers can
proivde
Correct your spelling
provide
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
this,
show examples
 why
we should
Correct word order
should we
show examples
 stop them
, let
Punctuation problem
? Let
show examples
 them
play
Punctuation problem
play,
show examples
 since they don't do anything wrong.
However
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
I know that
children
Use synonyms
 need to be active and move
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 body,because
this
Linking Words
 would
impcat
Correct your spelling
impact
 their mental and physical health
, if
Punctuation problem
. If
show examples
 they don't have enough
Correct your spelling
movement
movment
Punctuation problem
movment,
show examples
 that can mean a lot of
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
one
Punctuation problem
, one
show examples
 of
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can
diagnose
Wrong verb form
be diagnosed
show examples
 by
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 disease, so my
adivce
Correct your spelling
advice
 is to
enusre
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ensure
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
some
Verb problem
have some
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time to move and stop using the laptop. In conclusion, using
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
 can help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 if they help them to use it properly.

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task response
Be clear on your view. State if you mostly agree or disagree with the prompt. Then give one clear line of that view in your intro.
organization
Make your points in order. Use paragraphs for each point. Start with a short plan.
language
Use simple words. Check spell and form of words. Use 'computer' or 'computers' correctly.
content
Give real examples. For each idea, add a small example to show it works.
cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'therefore'.
content
Shows some good ideas on how computers can help in learning and fun.
structure
Has an introduction and a final conclusion.
example
Mentions a concrete example like Duolingo.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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