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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disgree with this opinion?

Music
Use synonyms
 is often regarded as a universal language capable of transcending cultural and generational boundaries. I wholeheartedly agree that
music
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 plays a significant role in uniting
people
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 of diverse backgrounds and ages, as it fosters shared experiences, promotes mutual understanding, and strengthens social cohesion.
To begin
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 with,
music
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 creates a shared emotional experience that can bridge differences. A melody, rhythm, or harmony can evoke similar feelings of joy, nostalgia, or excitement among listeners, regardless of their cultural origins or age.
For instance
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, global phenomena
such
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 as classical symphonies, pop
music
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, and international
music
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 festivals attract audiences from all walks of life, demonstrating
music
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’s capacity to generate collective enthusiasm and break down social barriers.
Moreover
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, exposure to
music
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 from other cultures encourages intercultural understanding. When individuals listen to traditional songs, folk
music
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, or contemporary genres from different countries, they gain insight into foreign customs, values, and history.
This
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 exposure not only broadens their horizons but
also
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 fosters tolerance and appreciation for cultural diversity.
Similarly
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, cross-generational
music
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,
such
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 as family karaoke sessions or community choirs, allows younger and older participants to bond over shared interests and experiences.
Finally
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,
music
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 can strengthen social cohesion by creating communal spaces for interaction. Concerts,
music
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 workshops, and festivals provide platforms where
people
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 of varying ages and backgrounds can meet, collaborate, and celebrate together.
Such
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 shared participation promotes empathy, cooperation, and a sense of belonging, which are essential for harmonious societies. In conclusion,
music
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 is undeniably a powerful medium that unites
people
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 across cultural and generational divides. By evoking shared emotions, fostering intercultural understanding, and creating inclusive communal spaces,
music
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 can contribute significantly to social harmony. I
therefore
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 fully support the view that
music
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 is an effective tool for bringing
people
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 together.

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task response
Add a small counter point to show you see limits of music as a tool, and say why your view still holds.
coherence cohesion
Use more different linking words to keep the flow smooth between parts and avoid repeating the same phrases.
strength
Clear view with strong proof from music all over the world.
strength
Good choice of examples to show how music can tie people together.
strength
The ending restates view well and closes the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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