IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

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Due to
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 the development of modern
civilization
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civilisation
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 nowadays, there is an increasing demand
of
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for
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 workers with
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 level of education from school and both the matured
skills
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.
However
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, there is always an overwhelming debate on whether it is worth for
schools
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 to spend time on learning
knowledges
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knowledge
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 or cultivating practical
skills
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. Personally, I disagree with the statement that learning facts at
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schools
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school
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 is a time-waste.
Firstly
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, the knowledge from primary
schools
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 to colleges is always the
basics
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basis
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 to develop better practical
skills
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. Because without the learning of those subjects,
such
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 as mathematics and sciences,
people
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 hardly understand the truth behind the
real world
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real-world
 facts.
For example
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, engineers who are
specialized
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specialised
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 in designing
aircrafts
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aircraft
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 will never understand those aerodynamic theories
,
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apply
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 if they are inadequate with physics and mathematics theories.
Hence
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, I believe that learning facts from
schools
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 is the foundation to develop
people
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's future
career
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careers
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. In comparison, practical
skills
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 are difficult for
people
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 to learn
from
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on
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 campus.
People
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are having
Wrong verb form
have
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 different areas of
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interests
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interest
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,
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;
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however
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,
schools
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 rarely focus on individual
interests
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.
Instead
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, students usually gain practical experiences in the real world.
For instance
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, my friend who is really
passionated
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passionate
 about racing cars, has handled car maintenance
skills
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.
Such
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 as changing the oil, fixing the
tires
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tyres
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, and reinstalling
car
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the car
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 exhausts. All those practical
skills
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 are gained from the daily grind, through watching videos on
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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,
then
Linking Words
 learning lessons from
practices
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practice
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.
Therefore
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, it is the
interests
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 that bring opportunities for
people
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 to learn practical
skills
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, but not from
schools
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. In a nutshell, I believe that it is worth
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
schools
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 to spend time on building basic
knowledges
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knowledge
show examples
. But
in contrast
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, practical
skills
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 are easier for
people
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 to learn throughout their daily life and areas of
Use synonyms
interests
Check wording
interest
show examples
 than
from
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in school
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schools
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Task response: Your answer is clear, but you should explain your ideas more fully in each body paragraph.
task response
Task response: Keep your position fully clear from start to end. You disagree, so make each main point support that view directly.
task response
Task response: Your examples are relevant, but they can be more specific and more closely linked to the main question about education.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear paragraph plan, but some sentences are hard to follow because of grammar and word choice.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use linking words carefully. Words like 'however', 'instead', and 'therefore' should show a very clear idea link.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Make topic sentences simpler and clearer, so the reader can see the main idea of each paragraph at once.
task response
Task response: You answer the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
Task response: You use examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Each paragraph has one main idea.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rote memorization
  • practical skills
  • adaptable skills
  • critical thinking
  • balanced approach
  • problem-solving
  • decision-making
  • workforce readiness
  • real-life challenges
  • technological advancements
  • information management
  • creativity hindrance
  • lifelong learning
  • skill development
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