IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

It has been a controversy for quite a long
time
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if
Change preposition
whether
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 enough
time
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 has been spent on learning practical
skills
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 from primary
schools
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 to
universities
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. In my opinion, it is quite normal that
students
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 spend most of their
time
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 learning facts rather than learning practical
skills
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. The main purpose of school education or
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universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
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 education is
helping
Wrong verb form
to help
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 people learning facts, including
physical
Replace the word
physics
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, chemistry and other fields. Learning these fields can let
students
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 better understand the world in a
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science
Replace the word
scientific
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 and effective
method
Check wording
way
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. The education from primary
schools
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 to
universities
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 is a gradual and step-by-step process, with the increasing difficulties of lessons. In the past years, with the rapid development of
science
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 and technology, more job opportunities which require
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science
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
 knowledge have
come
Verb problem
emerged
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to
Change preposition
in
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 our society. So it is normal for
schools
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 to cultivate
students
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 in a man with lots of
science
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 knowledge and qualities. As for practical
skills
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, one of the reasons that less
time
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has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 spent on
students
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 is
practical
Correct word choice
that practical
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
 can be learnt from family and society.
For example
Linking Words
, driving skill, a must-have skill in modern society,
usually can
Correct word order
can usually
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 be taught by families or some
schools
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especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 for driving. It is not necessary for
universities
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 to
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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time
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teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
 college
students
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 how to drive. What’s more, practical
skills
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 may not attract all the
students
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.
For example
Linking Words
, if cooking is a lesson in school, not all the
students
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 have basic abilities to prepare food, wash food, or cook food, quite to teach for
schools
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 as well. In conclusion, I do not agree
the
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with the
show examples
 idea that not enough
time
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 is spent on learning practical
skills
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, which are
skills
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 we can learn from families and other
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of
specialized
Change the spelling
specialised
show examples
schools
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. Much
time
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 should be spent on learning facts because it is the main goal
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
universities
Use synonyms
.

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Task response
The view is clear and kept in the essay. To raise marks, add more clear reasons and smart links to back your view.
Coherence and cohesion
Link your ideas well. Use clear steps in the order you write. Start each part with a main idea and end with a line that connects to your view.
Language quality
Fix small grammar and hard words. Use simple, common words only. Check verb form and 'spend' vs 'spent' to match meaning.
strength
Clear view on the topic
strength
Reason is shown that facts can come from outside school
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rote memorization
  • practical skills
  • adaptable skills
  • critical thinking
  • balanced approach
  • problem-solving
  • decision-making
  • workforce readiness
  • real-life challenges
  • technological advancements
  • information management
  • creativity hindrance
  • lifelong learning
  • skill development
What to do next:
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