IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the media (newspapers) have the right to publish ‎details of people’s private lives, while others think it should be controlled. ‎Discuss both views.

Some would argue that information about
people
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's own
lives
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 on social
media
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 should be published or controlled.
While
Linking Words
 sharing
people
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's
lives
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 is sometimes useful, I believe that it is much better to keep their information private. On the one hand, in order to learn from his success and study his life career as a famous person, the
media
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 should shed light on their
lives
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, so we can consider them as good role models. These things will make us aware of the world and facilitate the path to success.
For example
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, I learned loads of tips and tricks from the
people
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's secret
lives
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, as soon as the founder of the newspaper, Jack and Joo, decided to share and release their information to the public
,
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;
show examples
 indeed, that really helped as a member of society, and opened my eyes.
On the other hand
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, personally, I strongly recommend that we take caution about
people
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's secret
lives
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. Imagine that they have a conservative family, of course, they will prioritise private life over letting
people
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 know what they do in their leisure time or how many members does his family have. So we must respect their opinions and just do what they order, and let them live in peace, and keep their private life away from the
media
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.
For instance
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, statistic shows that most well-known
people
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 prefer to be anonymous over being known among
people
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 in their societies. In conclusion, I can understand why the
media
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 wants to share details of
people
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's private
lives
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, but I think it's more desirable to control and listen to their voices as a human being.

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structure
Plan your essay first. Make a short plan with an intro, two sides with a reason, then your view.
structure
Use clear links like but, and, also, however to join ideas.
content
Give simple, real examples. Do not use names that do not fit or are made up.
conclusion
Finish with a clear view that is easy to see in the end.
language
Check grammar and spell small words right to make your meaning clear.
content
It tries to talk about both sides.
structure
There are some link words to join ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • media
  • press
  • newspaper
  • privacy
  • private life
  • public life
  • public interest
  • right
  • freedom
  • rule
  • limit
  • law
  • court
  • ethics
  • duty
  • truth
  • fact
  • false
  • verify
  • report
  • tell
  • show
  • consent
  • harm
  • safety
  • community
  • trust
  • evidence
  • source
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