IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

International travel is becoming cheaper and more and more countries are opening door for it . Does the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

The figures together present a coherent argument making the case for the view that EGFR activation unfolds
though
Use the right word
through
show examples
 an asymmetric, CDK-like dimer. Figures 2A and 2B first reveal the autoinhibition state of the wild-type kinases; the inhibitory hold is released in the L834R mutant, and higher molecular density
further
Linking Words
 suggests intermolecular activation. Figure 4A
then
Linking Words
 sets out
this
Linking Words
 subtle asymmetry and aligns with the CDK-cyclin mechanism. Figure 5B adds weight to the model, showing that the symmetric dimer interface holds little influence
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the activation. Figures 6A-D complete the picture, revealing that when asymmetry is disturbed, phosphorylation breaks down, yet activity returns when inactive and activating mutants coexist, a clear testament to allosteric design.

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improvement
The text uses real detail from figures, which helps, but it reads like a lab note rather than a travel essay. Add a clear view and a short ending.
improvement
Give a clear main idea and show your own view on travel. The writing should answer the task.
improvement
Link ideas with small words like and, but, also, so, for example to help flow.
language
Use simple words. Avoid many long science terms.
structure
Add a short opening and a short ending that sum up your view.
strength
The text keeps many facts from figures to back points.
structure
The order of figures is easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • global awareness
  • economic growth
  • tourism revenue
  • infrastructure investment
  • educational opportunities
  • environmental degradation
  • carbon footprint
  • cultural dilution
  • heritage preservation
  • income inequality
  • marginalized communities
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