IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is a waste of time ot read read newspapers and watch news on televison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

While
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 some
people
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 claim that reading
newspapers
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 and watching
news
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 on TV is a waste of
time
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, others oppose
to
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apply
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this
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 opinion. I completely disagree
to
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with
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this
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 statement. I believe that accessing
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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information
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by
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from
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newspapers
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 and
news
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broadcast
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broadcasts
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 can
beneficial
Verb problem
be beneficial
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. On the one hand, the invention of
smartphone
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smartphones
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 enabled
people
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 to access
news
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 articles online.
Moreover
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,
due to
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 the integrated function of artificial intelligence, you can easily obtain
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the highlight
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highlight
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highlights
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news
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apply
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of the day, without spending a long
time
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on
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apply
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reading
newspapers
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 or watching TV.
Therefore
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, it may seem like a waste of
time
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 if you have a
much
Rephrase
more
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 convenient alternative
of
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for
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 gaining
latest
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the latest
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information
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.
However
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,
summarizing
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summarising
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news
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 can result in not
realizing
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realising
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 some
information
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, because
the
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apply
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all the data is
analyzed
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analysed
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 by
non-human
Correct article usage
a non-human
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 device.
On the other hand
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,
utilizing
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utilising
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newspapers
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 and watching broadcasts can make
people
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 go through most of the significant events which happened recently. It makes
people
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 more aware of international
news
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 and
can
Verb problem
helps them
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 know the latest
trend
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trends
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of
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in
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 the world. In some
occupation
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occupations
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, knowing various incidents can be a strength to avoid specific
risk
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risks
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.
For example
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, some products,
such
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 as oil
,
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apply
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 and
gold
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gold,
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 become expensive when international
conflict
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conflicts
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 occur. If you are dealing
these
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with these
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 products, you should be aware of all international
situation
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situations
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 to sense acute price rising, by
analyzing
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analysing
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 all global
news
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, holistically. Obtaining
information
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 by
your self
Use the right word
yourself
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 can lead to increasing profit by supporting business scenes. In conclusion, I entirely disagree that obtaining
information
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by
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from
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newspapers
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 and
broadcast
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broadcasts
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 is a waste of
time
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. It can help
people
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 to access broader
information
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 and contribute to
successful
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a successful
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 business.

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task response
Make your view clear in the first line of the intro and keep it simple.
task response
Give 2 or 3 main ideas in the body and add one or two small examples for each.
coherence
Each paragraph should have one main idea and start with a short topic line.
coherence
Use linking words like also, but, next to show how ideas go from one to next.
language
Check spelling and grammar so sentences are easy to read.
stance
You show a clear side against the idea of news being waste.
content
You use real life ideas like price move to back your view.
structure
There is some flow in ideas in places.
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