IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world, there are constant traffic jams. How true you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discour

Recently, the number of car owners has increased significantly over the past 30 years . It is a commonly held belief that causes traffic problems in different places around the world. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss
this
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 topic and what governments should do to discourage
people
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 from using their
cars
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. There are many reasons why
people
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 buy a car rather than use public transportation. First of all, public transport is often slow and uncomfortable.
Also
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,
people
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 feel like sardines in a can because they are always crowded and uncleaned.
In addition
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, the community prefers to travel alone because they feel more independent, comfortable.
However
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, there are some problems that have increased because of
people
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 tending to travel
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their own
cars
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.
Firstly
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, the government should develop public transport and create lines for cycling lines to encourage society to use them
instead
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 of owning
cars
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 and to reduce air pollution that comes from
cars
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 . It is
also
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 possible to say that, to reduce traffic , we should change our working habits.
For instance
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, the internet can be used nowadays to connect
people
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 , and more
people
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 can work from home easily.
Moreover
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, modern public transportation can be fast and cheap; well-designed transport systems are convenient and comfortable. In conclusion, despite
people
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 having different views, on balance,
however
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. I tend to believe that
people
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 will be encouraged to use public transportation if the government develop it very well.

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task response
Plan your essay with two main ideas and a clear view. Say your view in the first line of the intro and restate it in the end.
coherence cohesion
Use one idea per paragraph. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and add a short example or reason.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with small words like and, but, also, therefore to show how you move from one idea to the next.
grammar
Fix small errors in grammar and choice of words. Use simple and correct form. For example, say 'not clean' instead of 'uncleaned' and use 'people' rather than 'community'.
conclusion
End with a short restatement of your view and a brief note on the solution.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion, so the task has a frame.
content
Some ideas are given and the plan to use public transport and work from home is seen.
coherence
The writer tries to use linking and connects ideas with words like 'and' and 'also'.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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