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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the sales of the three most commonly purchased items in a particular bakery for the year 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the sales of the three most commonly purchased items in a particular bakery for the year 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart illustrates the
sales
Use synonyms
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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 of three baked goods, namely the bread, buns and pies of a specific bakery in each month of 2014.
Linking Words
Overall
Punctuation problem
Overall,
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 calmer
only
Punctuation problem
; only
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 the revenue of seven pipes increased cover
while
Linking Words
 that of other products either dropped
of
Use the right word
or
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flucturated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
. For the
sales
Use synonyms
 of pies, the dollars earned
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 $10,000 in January.
Then
Linking Words
, an increasing trend could be observed. The amount of money gained
raised
Verb problem
rose
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 slightly until August. Since
then
Linking Words
, the
sales
Use synonyms
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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almost
Verb problem
have remained almost
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remain
Verb problem
apply
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constant for two months. Eventually, the amount
roses
Use the right word
rose
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 significantly from $20,000 to $40,000 between October and December. The revenue earned from selling buns and breads,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
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however
Linking Words
, did not
seems
Correct subject-verb agreement
seem
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 to show an increase in the year 2014.
Although
Linking Words
 the amount earned from making buns rose by $30,000 from January to May, no obvious changes can be seen in the subsequent 3 months. Starting from August, the
sales
Use synonyms
 dropped sharply from $70,000 to $30,000
at the end
Linking Words
 of the year. The revenue of baking bread dropped by almost 2 times between January and March,
then
Linking Words
 it fluctuated until September, when it started to increase back to the
sales
Use synonyms
 level recorded during
Correct article usage
the year
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year
Check wording
year's
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 commencement.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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