IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some parents think that children centers provide the best services for children of preschool age, other working parents think that family members such as grandparents are better caregivers for their young children discuss both views and give your opinion

Some believe that close relatives can provide the best care to
children
Use synonyms
while
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 their
parents
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 are at work.
While
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 others argue that specialised institutes are much better at looking after younger
children
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. Even though family members are keen to devote their time and energy to babysitting, professional institutes provide better
overall
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 services , which are geared towards specific age groups. I agree with the latter point of view
for
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this
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 reason. On the one hand, several
parents
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 who are employed full-time tend to leave their
children
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 with grandparents or siblings, as
this
Linking Words
 is most convenient for them.
Also
Linking Words
, it is easier for the young ones to adjust since they are already familiar with the house and environment.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there is already an established trust between the
parents
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 and the
persons
Check wording
people
show examples
 looking after the
children
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.
For example
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, a recent survey conducted by a parent’s magazine showed that 65% of working mothers preferred their immediate family to provide care
while
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 they were at work.
on
Fix capitalization
On
show examples
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand,daycares are a better option as most of their staff are trained professionals
Many
Punctuation problem
. Many
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 of their employees have extensive experience ,so they will have a significant approach
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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dedicated for child to develop and improve their skills .
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also
Fix capitalization
Also
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, ensure that they provide them a better environment which enhances them to supply qualifications,
also
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 will elevate their opportunities to progress , which
Verb problem
is
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a brilliant chance for their future
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For
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
 example , a recent study suggests supporting the service centres to encourage
parents
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 to send their
children
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 during their duty and grow their skills. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some
parents
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 may prefer the bond of trust inherent within a family when choosing a caregiver for their
children
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,
this
Linking Words
 essay finds that
children
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 are better off under the care of daycare centres
due to
Linking Words
 their staff's professional training and experience

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task response
State your view clearly in the first paragraph.
task response
Give full ideas for each view and add a clear example.
coherence
Have one paragraph per view with a clear topic sentence.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas and keep flow.
grammar
Check grammar and fix spelling and punctuation.
strength
The essay shows both sides and states a view.
strength
There is some use of facts or numbers from a survey.
strength
There is a clear ending.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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