IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think tourism is beneficial for countries, while others argue it has negative effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion

According to
Linking Words
 some
Use synonyms
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
tourism
Use synonyms
 is beneficial for
countries
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
argues
Correct subject-verb agreement
argue
show examples
 that it has negative effects.
This
Linking Words
 essay compares the two different
view points
Use the right word
viewpoints
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
. On one hand, right now
tourism
Use synonyms
 is one of the most vital
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 of income for some
countries
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.
Tourism
Use synonyms
 provides employment opportunities in
hospitality
Correct article usage
the hospitality
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 industry
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 hotels, restaurants. It
also
Linking Words
 boosts
countries
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' economies because of
this
Linking Words
 reason
they
Punctuation problem
, they
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 are investing in
tourism
Use synonyms
 and
build
Wrong verb form
building
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touristic
Replace the word
tourist
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 sites to attract
people
Use synonyms
 from around the world.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 there are many
cities
Use synonyms
 which are very dependent on
tourism
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 and
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 income is mostly from
tourism
Use synonyms
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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tokyo
Fix capitalization
Tokyo
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, Barcelona.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
due to
Linking Words
 cultural
differences
Add a comma
differences,
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tourism
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 can bother local
people
Use synonyms
 .
For instance
Linking Words
,
japan
Fix capitalization
Japan
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 is one of the world's most touristic
countries
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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japanese
Fix capitalization
Japanese
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people
Use synonyms
 mostly resent tourists because
people
Use synonyms
 from other
countries
Use synonyms
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
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 show respect in religious places and sometimes cause environmental pollution in
cities
Use synonyms
. Plus
it
Punctuation problem
, it
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 increases the cost of living in big
cities
Use synonyms
 , creates safety problems and makes it harder for
people
Use synonyms
 who
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
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 in those
cities
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
depending
Punctuation problem
, depending
show examples
 on
tourism
Use synonyms
 can be bad for
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
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 future because after some time there is a possibility that
country
Correct article usage
the country
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 will lose tourists and
this
Linking Words
 can lead to
economic
Correct article usage
an economic
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crysis
Correct your spelling
crisis
. In conclusion, both sides have valid reasons. In my opinion,
countries
Use synonyms
 need to invest in
tourism
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 satisfying
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 own citizens
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 setting some rules and not accepting every person
to
Change preposition
into
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 their country.

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task response
Task response: Your view is not clear all the time. Say your main view in the first line or the last line. Build your points with one or two small facts to back them up.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Try to group ideas in clear parts. Start each part with a clear idea. Use linking words like also, but, however, and for example to join ideas.
language
Language: Fix small errors in grammar and spelling. Use short, simple sentences. Check subject–verb form and plural where needed.
content
You show both sides and give your own view.
structure
There is an end that repeats your view.
examples
Examples from real places are used.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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