Some people believe that international news should be included in the syllabus of secondary school students. Do you agree or disagree?

In the prevailing era, worldwide
news
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plays a pivotal role in people's lives. It is an argued issue whether foreign
news
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ought to be incorporated into
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school
Correct article usage
the school
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curriculum in
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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secondary
school
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or not. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
viewpoint since it intends to create a huge burden on learners' shoulders
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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limited
time
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is left for recreational activities.
Firstly
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, various subjects are already studied by students in their secondary
school
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, and adding an international
news
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lecture can create undue stress. So, it is an arduous task for them to focus on all the topics in a term.
For example
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, in India, high
school
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students have to undertake up to 8 subjects in a class. Having a ninth one can make their lives stressful because it is not
and
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an
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easy task to pay attention to all of them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, having a global
news
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lesson can deprive learners
from
Change preposition
of
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playing outdoor games. Having
restricted
Correct article usage
a restricted
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time
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can force them to pay attention to academic subjects
instead
Linking Words
of playing games with their mates. To illustrate, senior
schools'
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school'
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children usually play fewer games
due to
Linking Words
gaining higher scores in exams. If a subject is introduced, it will not
give
Verb problem
have
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a
Correct article usage
enough
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little
Correct word choice
apply
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time
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to go out.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe that an international
news
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subject should not be incorporated as it can force them to live under
pressure
Punctuation problem
pressure,
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coupled with
Linking Words
fewer
Fix the agreement mistake
less
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time
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will not be left for them to enjoy leisure
time
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.

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task
Add a clear plan in the intro: state your view and outline the two main ideas you will discuss.
task
Develop each idea more. Give more detail and connect it to the prompt.
coherence
Use simple, steady linking words to show how ideas go from one to the next.
coherence
Make your examples fit the point more tightly and explain why they support your view.
grammar
Check small grammar and word use to make sentences clear.
strength
Clear position against the idea.
strength
Reasoned idea lines and a simple paragraph plan (intro-body-conclusion).

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global perspective
  • current affairs
  • critical thinking skills
  • cultural awareness
  • empathy
  • language skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: