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Writing Samples
Band 5

The crime rate in teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries in recent years. What are the causes, and what are the solutions?

The increase in the crime rate among adults in different parts of the world has caused terrible issues around us. There are a variety of possible reasons for
this
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, but steps can definitely be taken to tackle the problem. There are many reasons for the rise in homicides, particularly in adults. To commence, their
parents
Use synonyms
 tend to be too lenient or permissive
,
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;
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 they don't teach their 18-year-old sons that actions will always be followed by consequences.
Furthermore
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, some families would never look after them, and what they do in their leisure time.
For example
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, I have a friend, he is 19 years old, whose family wouldn't care about him, so he can watch everything on his laptop: movies, porn, killers and so on;
as a result
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, he got influenced by seeing these, and
then
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 committed a crime. The only one you can blame here are their
parents
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 and their carelessness. Some solutions should be taken to address that problem.
Parents
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 should set firm rules
,
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apply
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 and use reasonable punishments if they break the definite rules.
For instance
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, take what they enjoy the most,
such
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 as phones, PlayStation and the like.
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Also
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Also,
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 be as strict as possible as you can,
for example
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, never be easy with them, when they watch violent or murder scenes, in order not to be influenced by them. Eventually,
parents
Use synonyms
 should ask for them, be with them. In conclusion, committing crimes among adults will continue to rise unless
parents
Use synonyms
,
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apply
show examples
 set clear rules and start to look after them.

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content planning
Plan first. Make a small list of the main ideas in order so you can tell both causes and ways to fix them.
structure
Stick to one idea per paragraph. Use a clear start sentence (topic sentence) to show what you will talk about.
coherence
Use simple linking words to move from one idea to the next, like ‘also’, ‘but’, ‘however’, and ‘for example’.
content
Give real, short examples and do not rely on one personal story only.
language
Check grammar and keep each sentence short. This helps the reader understand.
content
The essay gives a clear view that there is a problem and a fix.
structure
There are paragraphs that show a plan and a final line to close the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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