IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Somepeople say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, thanks to medicine
devolopments
Correct your spelling
developments
,
lifespan have
Wrong verb form
life expectancy has
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 been increasing significantly in most areas of the globe.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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this
Linking Words
 development can be
associeted
Correct your spelling
associated
 with imposing some cost to governments in terms of the old population
health
Use synonyms
 care, but I assume its benefits
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as their efficient role
on
Change preposition
in
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 having a wiser
sciety
Correct your spelling
society
outwaited
Verb problem
outweigh
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 its
backdrows
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
, noticeably. It is not overlookable that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 governing a society which has
noticeable
Correct article usage
a noticeable
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 old
poplulation
Correct your spelling
population
 means investing
eye catching
Use the right word
eye-catching
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 funds to protect them against
vast
Correct article usage
a vast
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 variety of
health
Use synonyms
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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 related to
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as brain
functional related
Use the right word
function-related
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;
Punctuation problem
,
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 namely
alzaymer
Check wording
Alzheimer's
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, or heart
diseas
Correct your spelling
disease
, and their decreasing capability in mobility.
According to
Linking Words
China
Correct article usage
the China
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Health
Use synonyms
 Statistics Yearbook 2023, total medical &
health
Use synonyms
 expenditures were ~9.05 trillion yuan in 2023. Population ageing is cited as a major factor in that increase. But
elderly's
Correct article usage
the elderly's
show examples
 accompany in our modern and fast-paced lifestyle has its own
crusial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 benefits for societies. They carry some invaluable
charestrestics
Correct your spelling
characteristics
such
Linking Words
 as life-experienced, wise, rational thinker, and family supporter, which are vital for
goungesters
Correct your spelling
guests
 to gain a balanced worldview and life aspect in our modern and fast-paced era.

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task response
Be clear in your view. Say if the good side or the bad side is bigger, and end with your own choice.
coherence
Give one idea per paragraph. Use short links to join ideas and make the flow easier.
lexical
Use simple words and check spelling to make your point clear.
strength
It shows some attempt to discuss both sides.
evidence
It uses a real number to show cost as an example.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Life expectancy
  • Demographic shift
  • Healthcare infrastructure
  • Pension funds
  • Intergenerational solidarity
  • Consumer demographics
  • Workforce participation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Urban planning
  • Assisted living facilities
  • Socio-economic challenges
  • Sustainable development
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