IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
The first pie chart provides information about household
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the second pie chart is about the result of
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 from
those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 the heating is the main
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 in the household, the highest
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 water heating. As
regard
Correct subject-verb agreement
regards
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the heating, which takes up 42% of
energy
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 its
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 just only 15%. The second
high of
Replace the word
highest
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 is the water heating,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 up 30% but it
also
Linking Words
 releases a great amount of
gas
Use synonyms
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
, which is 32%.
Others
Fix the agreement mistake
Other
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
use
Fix the agreement mistake
uses
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cooling and
lighting
Punctuation problem
lighting,
show examples
are
Verb problem
account for
show examples
 only
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
2% and 4%
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, these two
of
Check wording
types of
show examples
 household are
also
Linking Words
the
Change preposition
among the
show examples
less
Replace the word
least
show examples
 types of
gas
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, for other appliances.One is up to 15% in
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 but has 38% of
gas
Use synonyms
 emission, which is even higher than the
heating's
Check wording
heating
show examples
 percentage.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, use, gas, emissions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Sustainable practices
  • Energy efficiency
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Carbon footprint
  • Eco-friendly appliances
  • Insulation
  • Solar panels
  • Recycling
  • Climate change
  • Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
  • Emissions-intensive
  • Energy audit
  • Smart meters
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