IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 say that
competition
Use synonyms
 is good at work, in school, and in life. Others think we need more cooperation and should not fight each other. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
competition
Use synonyms
 makes
people
Use synonyms
 try harder. In school, students want to be the best, so they study more. At work, employees want a promotion, so they try to do their job better. In
life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
 it’s similar if you want to be strong, you need to improve yourself and do better than others.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, cooperation is
also
Linking Words
 very important. When
people
Use synonyms
 help each other, they can learn faster. In the workplace, teamwork helps to finish tasks more easily. If there is too much
competition
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 may feel stressed, angry, or unhappy. In my opinion, we need both. A little
competition
Use synonyms
 gives motivation, but cooperation brings harmony. Only
competition
Use synonyms
 can be too hard.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
To improve task response, add more real examples from work, school, and life. make your view clear in the opening and restate it at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Make ideas fit together better. Use simple linking words like also, but, however, so, and then to show how one idea leads to the next.
language style
Keep language simple. Use short sentences and common words. Check spellings of everyday words so your writing is easy to read.
structure
Clear plan with an intro, two main parts, and a closing idea that you need both.
arguments
You state a view and give a fair balance of both sides.
language
Sentences are mostly short and easy to read, which helps the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: