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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some parents prefer to stay in care homes after their retirement instead of staying with their children. Why is this happening? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Today, I will discuss why some
parents
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 choose to live in care homes after retirement
instead
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 of staying with their
children
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.
First,
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what are the reasons for
this
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 trend? For some individuals, there is a lack of comfort in living with their
children
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.
Additionally
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, certain
children
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 may treat their
parents
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 poorly, failing to meet their emotional and physical needs. I will
also
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 cover the advantages of residing in care homes. First and foremost, these facilities provide a sense of safety and security.
Furthermore
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, they are equipped with all the necessary services and support to cater to residents' needs.
On the other hand
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, it is important to acknowledge the disadvantages of living in care homes.
Firstly
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,
parents
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 may experience feelings of sadness and loneliness, often feeling homesick
due to
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 the absence of friends and familiar surroundings.
Moreover
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, they will miss their
children
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 and long to spend time with them. In conclusion, we should respect our
parents
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 and strive to meet their needs, as they have devoted themselves to caring for us throughout our lives.

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content
Start with a clear view about the topic in the introduction.
organization
Use more linking words to show how ideas connect.
development
Add more details or examples to support points.
language
Keep language simple and precise while giving balanced ideas.
structure
Good overall structure with introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence
Clear order of points: reasons, then advantages, then disadvantages.
coherence
Use of linking phrases like First, Furthermore, On the other hand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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