IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

#people #town #city #place #support
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These days, people have various choices for living areas. A group of populations think that the small city is the best selection
while
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 the others' preferences are metropolises. In my opinion, the metropolises are my selection owing to the fact that the number of facilities and companies is a lot and it is a good situation for the young generations. On the one hand, if the community lives in the big cities, they have access to a range of facilities and classes that help them to improve their skills;
besides
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, showing them how they can become better.
For instance
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, when you live in Tehran, the capital of Iran, you can go anywhere with public transportation really fast ;
additionally
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, you are able to find a lot of English institutes, Cooking classes and so on to improve your ability.
On the other hand
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, most big companies that need a number of employees are in urban regions;
consequently
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, the population who live in these districts have more chances to find the best job opportunities
instead
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 of
either
Correct determiner usage
those either
show examples
 rural or small-town inhabitants. To illustrate, in the metropolises, we can see a majority of airlines, refineries, and so forth that need a lot of workers;
however
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, in the small regions, the citizens can work in just services
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and agriculture industries.
To sum up
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, In my view, the best area
that is
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 really good for me is big cities inasmuch as employee opportunities and enhancing my skills are the most essential factor for me and the people who are young adults.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Ensure your essay has a clear thesis statement in the introduction.
task achievement
Develop each main point in more detail to improve task response.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear preference for living in a big city with specific reasons.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples such as Tehran to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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