in many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work .some people regard this as completely wrong, while others others consider it as valuable work experience

: In many countries, students are involved in paid work. Some people believe
this
Linking Words
is completely wrong,
while
Linking Words
others see it as a valuable opportunity to gain work experience. I believe that children working at a young age can have a negative impact on their development. On one hand, having a job at an early age can have an adverse effect on a child's development. One major drawback is that it can deprive children of their childhood and force them to take on responsibilities beyond their age.
Additionally
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, it may prevent them from completing their education, as they are more focused on earning money.
As a result
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, they lose valuable knowledge and miss out on the best moments of their lives.
Furthermore
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, some employers exploit young workers by making them work long hours, which can lead to health problems
due to
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physically demanding tasks.
For example
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, a study conducted on children who were working showed that they had fewer opportunities for education.

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structure
Plan your essay with three parts: intro, body, and conclusion. State your view in the intro.
structure
Make each paragraph have one main idea with a topic sentence.
content
Use the other side too. Add a short view and explain why you still think your view.
content
Give real and clear examples. Name what you mean when you say 'study' or show proof.
language
Use linking words to move from idea to idea. Use 'first', 'also', 'but', 'so', 'therefore'.
strength
You show a clear view that young work can hurt.
strength
You use some good link words like 'Furthermore' and 'As a result'.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Child labour
  • Paid work
  • Human rights
  • Ethical standards
  • Long-term educational prospects
  • Personal development
  • Dangerous working conditions
  • Emotional well-being
  • Systemic exploitation
  • Life skills
  • Time management
  • Financial support
  • Work-life balance
  • Real-world exposure
  • Cultural context
  • Traditional norm
  • Rite of passage
  • Psychological harm
  • Vulnerability
  • Employers
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