IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the survey results for which environmental problems people in 3 countries are most concerned about.

The charts below show the survey results for which environmental problems people in 3 countries are most concerned about.
The pie chart
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 the results of
questionnaire
Correct article usage
a questionnaire
show examples
 about the main natural problems that concern citizens in
Zambia
Use synonyms
,
Singapore
Use synonyms
, and Cameroon.
Overall
Linking Words
, among
given
Correct article usage
the given
show examples
 three countries
Punctuation problem
, concerning
show examples
concerning
Replace the word
concerns
show examples
 about overpopulation were most prominent in
Zambia
Use synonyms
 and
Singapore
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 in Cameroon,
waste
Use synonyms
 disposal was identified as the main environmental problem. In
Zambia
Use synonyms
, the lowest reported concerns were pollution and
waste
Use synonyms
 disposal, accounting for 14%,
while
Linking Words
 the highest concern was overpopulation at 43%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in
Singapore
Use synonyms
, overpopulation was
also
Linking Words
 the most significant issue.
However
Linking Words
,
waste
Use synonyms
 disposal and pollution were slightly higher than in
Zambia
Use synonyms
, at 21% and 16% respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in Cameroon,
waste
Use synonyms
 disposal emerged as the most significant environmental concern, accounting for nearly half of the total responses at 42%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, and similar to the patterns observed in
Zambia
Use synonyms
 and
Singapore
Use synonyms
, pollution was the least reported issue, making up only 16% of the concerns.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words zambia, singapore, waste with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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