IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets should be responsible for reducing the amount of packaging of goods, while others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Over the past few years, the issue of the responsibility of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manufacturers
Use synonyms
 and supermarkets has been widely debated. It is argued that
manufacturers
Use synonyms
 and supermarkets should
decline
Verb problem
reduce
show examples
 the amount of
Use synonyms
products
Fix the agreement mistake
product
show examples
parkage
Correct your spelling
packaging
.
However
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, I strongly believe that the customers should be responsible for avoiding
to purchase
Wrong verb form
purchasing
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exceed
Replace the word
excessive
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 packaging goods. I will explain the reasons in the following paragraphs. One of the main reasons is that the consumers’
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
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 the type of
products
Use synonyms
 in
market
Correct article usage
the market
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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declined
Wrong verb form
declining
show examples
 gradually. Because the companies’ objectives are profit. If those
products
Use synonyms
 are not popular, retailers would proactively adjust the marketing approach
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and reduce unnecessary packaging design.
For example
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, more and more
costumers
Use the right word
customers
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 decide to support the brand
of
Change preposition
by
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 using
simple-packaged
Replace the word
simple packaging
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
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 most retailers to introduce these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of goods.
Moreover
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, the companies attempt to adjust
the
Change preposition
to the
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 change
of
Change preposition
in
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 marketing. Admittedly, it is undeniable that the
manufacturers
Use synonyms
 can reduce the waste effectively by limiting excessive packaging. From a supply-side perspective,
manufacturers
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 have greater control over at product packaging.
As a result
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, these companies could proactively reduce the supply of the
products
Use synonyms
 in
market
Correct article usage
the market
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. Once the supply of over-packaged
is
Check wording
products is
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 limited, consumers are naturally left with fewer options to purchase the
products
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, surveys conducted by supermarkets indicate that in certain product categories,
such
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 as fresh fruit and vegetables, items with minimal packaging still can
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 sales figures comparable to those with excessive
packageing
Correct your spelling
packaging
. It demonstrates that the product packaging is not a decisive factor
to impact
Change preposition
in impacting
show examples
 customers’ choices.
Consequently
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, the
manufacturers
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 proactively
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
 unnecessary packaging is one of the effective
strategy
Fix the agreement mistake
strategies
show examples
. In conclusion,
while
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 there are several opinions on
this
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 issue,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
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 will
have
Verb problem
be
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 more solutions in the future. I firmly agree
with
Change preposition
that
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 consumers should have a responsibility of choosing
products
Use synonyms
, and consumers’ choice
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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 an important part in
this
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 field,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 could improve the market orientation.

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content
The essay does not balance both views. add more on the other side and give a clear final view.
language
Make your ideas clear with short sentences. Fix grammar and use simple words.
structure
Follow a plan: intro with your view, two body paragraphs with reasons and examples, short conclusion.
examples
Give one or two real, easy examples to show your point.
idea
The writer shows a clear hope that buyers can cut waste by choosing less packaging.
example
There is an attempt to give examples and to say how buyers and makers can act.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • wrapping
  • wrap
  • pack
  • box
  • plastic
  • paper
  • card
  • recycle
  • reuse
  • waste
  • reduce
  • cut
  • save
  • cost
  • price
  • design
  • safety
  • life
  • demand
  • choice
  • shop
  • bulk
  • refill
  • store
  • law
  • government
  • scheme
  • label
  • clear
  • option
  • balanced
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