Some people believe that it is better to have the same job throughout their life, while others think that people should change their job after some period of time. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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In recent times, it
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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argued that maintaining the same
job
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throughout one's life is crucial,
while
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others believe that individuals should seek different professions after a certain period.
This
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essay examines both perspectives and argues that changing jobs after some time can be beneficial. First and foremost, proponents of keeping the same career argue that it provides stability and minimizes challenges.
For example
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, a majority of employees in Japan work the same
job
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until retirement.
Due to
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the increasing requirement for professional qualifications, many people feel discouraged from applying for new jobs in other companies.
As a result
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, they tend to stick with their current positions to avoid the risk of unemployment and the uncertainty of starting anew in a different environment.
Additionally
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, staying in the same
job
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allows individuals to build expertise and gain deep knowledge in their field, which can lead to promotions and
job
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security over time.
On the other hand
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, I argue that taking risks to change jobs periodically can provide a wide range of valuable benefits,
such
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as stable incomes and enhanced professional backgrounds.
For instance
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, moving from a local company to a multinational corporation can lead to better salaries and improved personal and professional lives. Exposure to different work cultures and practices can enhance one's skills and adaptability.
Moreover
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, gaining diverse experience can unlock opportunities for higher positions in future companies.
This
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variety of experience not only broadens one's professional network but
also
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increases
job
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satisfaction by preventing monotony and burnout. In conclusion,
although
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changing employment may pose the risk of unemployment, I argue that individuals should use their capabilities to unlock potential opportunities, including stable wages, personal and professional growth, and advancement in their careers. Embracing change and seeking new challenges can lead to a more fulfilling and dynamic professional life.
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task achievement
Consider adding a bit more depth to your examples to make them more specific and impactful. For instance, providing concrete statistics or case studies would strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While your structure is generally clear, a few sentences explicitly linking ideas would improve the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, giving it a strong sense of structure.
task achievement
You provided valid arguments for both perspectives and clearly stated your opinion, which satisfies the task requirements well.
task achievement
The essay uses relevant and specific examples to support the main points, enhancing the overall quality of the response.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure in your paragraphs makes the essay easy to follow and understand.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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