IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Companies invest millions of dollars in advertising to persuade consumers to buy their products. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages for the consumer?

In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary scenario,
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
show examples
 has a great contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the development of industries.
That is
Linking Words
 why
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 advertisements have been
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
commerically
Correct your spelling
commercially
 to enhance the popularity of a particular
product
Use synonyms
 or service.
Therefore
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, I personally believe that the tendency of
ads
Use synonyms
 has far more advantages than its disadvantages Undoubtedly, the trend of advertising goods leads a myriad of advantages to the purchasers, the prominent benefit is
that
Linking Words
is
Use the right word
it
show examples
 keeps individuals
update
Wrong verb form
updated
show examples
 with the market, conveys information about the products or
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
advertisement
Correct article usage
the advertisement
show examples
 system not only assists the manufacturers to sell or introduce their
product
Use synonyms
 in the market but
also
Linking Words
inform
Correct subject-verb agreement
informs
show examples
local
Correct article usage
the local
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 masses thoroughly about their
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
,
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
, and the qualities of
Use synonyms
item
Correct article usage
the item
show examples
, which may enhance
the sell
Check wording
sales
show examples
, and makes people understand to purchase
Use synonyms
item
Correct article usage
the item
show examples
according to
Linking Words
 their requirements.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays, the
ads
Use synonyms
 of
IPhone
Use the right word
iPhone
show examples
 17 can be seen everywhere in the market, which illustrate its features and influence consumers to buy it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, individuals obtain financial knowledge and support through
ads
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
along with
Linking Words
characteristic
Fix the agreement mistake
characteristics
show examples
, individuals come to know about the price and
on going
Use the right word
ongoing
show examples
 discounts.
Hence
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,
custmer
Correct your spelling
customers
 may compare the value, and purchase the
item
Use synonyms
 on time. So that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they can save their money. Despite a few potential benefits,
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
sometimes may
Correct word order
may sometimes
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 cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial loss, dissatisfaction, and often create unrealistic expectations. To
simply
Replace the word
simplify
show examples
 it, advertisements generally exaggerate the
product
Use synonyms
's benefits
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not reachable and real in practical life.
Such
Linking Words
 as, thesedays, in numerous
ads
Use synonyms
 of cosmetic
, models
Check wording
ads, models
show examples
 and celebrities are shown with glowing skin
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 their photos are usually edited, even sometimes use before and after pictures that are taken in different
lightining
Correct your spelling
lighting
 conditions, with
make up
Use the right word
make-up
show examples
, which
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 a false impression of
Use synonyms
product's
Correct article usage
the product's
show examples
 power. In conclusion, the benefits of advertisements surpass
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 drawbacks, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 provide information about the features, cost, and availability of
Use synonyms
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
 to the people.

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task
State your view clearly at the start and keep your position through the whole essay.
coherence
Use clear parts: one idea in each paragraph with a clear top sentence.
coherence
Link ideas with easy words and short sentences to keep flow.
linguistic
Check spell and grammar, use simple common words.
examples
Give stronger examples and show how they prove your point.
strength
The writer shows a clear view that ads have many advantages.
strength
There are good examples about price and discounts.
structure
The essay tries to show both good and bad sides.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advertising expenditure
  • consumer awareness
  • impulsive buying
  • economic impact
  • materialism
  • consumer debt
  • misleading advertisements
  • consumer trust
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