IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In some countries, Schools are open before and after normal hours so that children of Working parents can Stay longer at school. #Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages, -Are there more advs or more disadvs) is it a positive .

Schools in many countries have extended their operation
hours
Use synonyms
 to support working
parents
Use synonyms
 by allowing their
children
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 to stay longer in schools. These
hours
Use synonyms
 have both good and bad sides,
although
Linking Words
 it could be
be
Verb problem
apply
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advantageous if it
run
Correct subject-verb agreement
runs
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 well. One main benefit of prolonged
school
Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
 is the relief it provides to working
parents
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.
As
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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when
Fix capitalization
When
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 working
parents
Use synonyms
opted
Wrong verb form
opt for
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 long
school
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hours
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
children
Punctuation problem
children,
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 they not only tend to
balanced
Wrong verb form
balance
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 their
work - life
Use the right word
work-life
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 but
also
Linking Words
 contribute to financial stability.
In addition
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 in cutting down the babysitting cost,
keep
Wrong verb form
keeps
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 the
children
Use synonyms
 in
safe
Correct article usage
a safe
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,
risk
Use the right word
risk-free
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free
Punctuation problem
free,
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 disciplined environment.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 practice offers
children
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 more opportunities
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 skill development, as they
could
Verb problem
are
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 able to finish their homework on time during the
Use synonyms
school
Check wording
school's
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 extended
hours
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 and
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 take part in
extra curriculum
Use the right word
extracurricular
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 activities. Which
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not only
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them to learn different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of sports but
also
Linking Words
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 them
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to spend more time with
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
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 after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
spending long
hours
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 in a controlled environment for most of the time can make
children
Use synonyms
 feel exhausted. Because they will
stuck
Verb problem
be stuck
show examples
 in a loop and never get a chance to learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real life
Use the right word
real-life
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 things
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as family bonding, personal habits, etc. In conclusion,
Linking Words
overall
Punctuation problem
overall,
show examples
 it is positive if well run and fair; the benefits can outweigh the problems with good planning and choice for families.

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grammar
Fix grammar and bad word form. Some phrases are wrong and make meaning hard. Check verbs and how words fit together.
coherence
Link ideas better. Use clear start and end for each idea. Use small words to show how ideas connect.
content
Give one clear example for each point. The essay lists ideas but does not give strong proof. Use simple school life examples.
structure
End with a strong, short line that restates your view.
content
The writer shows how longer hours can help parents with care and money.
analysis
The essay talks about good and bad sides, which shows balance and thinking.
structure
There is a plan with intro, body and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good things
  • bad things
  • benefits
  • drawbacks
  • safety
  • care
  • working parents
  • before and after school
  • stay longer
  • homework help
  • study time
  • activities
  • cost
  • price
  • staff
  • teachers
  • helpers
  • plan
  • rules
  • routine
  • option
  • choice
  • affordable
  • equal access
  • quality
  • policy
  • improve
  • support
  • child
  • children
  • school
  • family
  • bus
  • walk
  • calm
  • order
  • watch
  • keep safe
  • space
  • time
  • group
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