IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the expenditure of two countries in consumer goods in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the expenditure of two countries in consumer goods in 2010.
The bar chart illustrates how much
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the public
lived
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in
France
Use synonyms
 and the
UK
Use synonyms
 consumed on 5 types of
goods
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, people spent the most on cars in
France
Use synonyms
 and the
UK
Use synonyms
. Compared to other
goods
Use synonyms
, the
earning
Check wording
sales
show examples
 of cameras reached the second place in the
UK
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 it was the lowest in
France
Use synonyms
. Examining the details, the public’s expenditure on cars, books, and cameras in the
UK
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 higher than the same
goods
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
. These
goods
Use synonyms
 reached around 450,000, 400,000,
350,000
Correct word choice
and 350,000
show examples
pounds
Use synonyms
, respectively. The cost of cameras was significantly higher than in the
UK
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it only obtained approximately 150,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 from French people. The
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 books in the
UK
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 higher than about 100,000
pounds
Use synonyms
of
Punctuation problem
, of
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which
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 in
France
Use synonyms
. French residents spent around 300,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 on books.
However
Linking Words
, the expenses of computers and
perfume
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
 were the only two products more
than
Correct word choice
expensive than
show examples
 other
goods
Use synonyms
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
. Computers cost French people about 370,000
pounds
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the public in the
UK
Use synonyms
 around 350,000
pounds
Use synonyms
. The expense of
perfume
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
 and the
UK
Use synonyms
 were both the lowest
earnings
Check wording
apply
show examples
among these consumer
goods
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the expenditure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
perfume
Use synonyms
 was short about 280,000 from the cars
’
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 which earned the highest income in the
UK
Use synonyms
. In
France
Use synonyms
, the
perfume
Use synonyms
 earned approximately 200,000
pounds
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words france, uk, goods, pounds, perfume with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • bar chart
  • comparison
  • categories
  • data points
  • economic status
  • consumer behavior
  • illustrate
  • implications
  • patterns
  • trends
  • notable differences
  • summary
  • reflect
  • insights
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