IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that universities should offer places to young students with high marks. Other believe that people of all ages and with low grades should be allowed to study. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Studying in university regardless of smartness or IQ has
been
Rephrase
long been
show examples
longly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
debated. In general, students who excel academically get places in highly competitive universities. Even for subjects which are easy for graduation, spots are limited and made expensive to be hard to reach. Those who do not reach the mark have to
dropout
Use the right word
drop out
show examples
 or take extra courses to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
graduate. Learners who have worked hard for their grades do deserve a chance at ranked universities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Task response: The essay does not show both sides of the talk and it does not give a clear view of your own. You should state your view in the first part and add reason with a small example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Plan the text with a clear plan. Have an intro, 2 body parts for each view, and a short ending that repeats your view. Use linking words like first, also, but, however.
Strength
There is an idea about how marks can touch entry to top uni.
Strength
The writing shows effort to talk about the topic.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic excellence
  • competitive environment
  • high achievers
  • inclusive education
  • diverse perspectives
  • equal opportunities
  • innovative ideas
  • personal development
  • societal growth
  • strict criterion
  • well-rounded education
  • motivates younger generations
  • learning experience
  • academic performance
  • right to higher education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: