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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annualincome in 2007,2011 and 2015.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annualincome in 2007,2011 and 2015.
The bar chart indicates the number of American house owners classified by yearly salaries in 2007, 2011 and 2015. Generally, the number of householder earned less than $25,000, $25,000-$49,999 and $100,000 or more experienced significant changes during
three
Correct article usage
the three
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period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
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. Populations earned $50,000-$74,999 and $75,000-$99,999 were relatively stable. In 2007, the house owner with
annual
Correct article usage
an annual
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income
Use synonyms
 $100,000 or more ranked first (nearly 30
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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), followed by $25,000-$49,999 (about 27
Use synonyms
millions
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million
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), less than $25,000 (25
Use synonyms
millions
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million
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), $50,000-$74,999 (over 20
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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) and $75,000-$99,999 (nearly 15
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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). Till 2011, the
house holding
Use the right word
household
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 population of the highest
income
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 part had an
obviously
Replace the word
obvious
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 decrease to about 27 million.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
same
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some
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 of the
low
Use the right word
low-income
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income
Use synonyms
 populations
,
Punctuation problem
(
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less than $25,000, $25,000-$49,999)
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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had significantly increased to approximately 30
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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.
Besides
Linking Words
, the middle-
income
Use synonyms
 group ($50,000-$74,999 and $75,000-$99,999) only had a slight rise and fall
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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. In the year
of
Change preposition
apply
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2015, households with yearly
income
Use synonyms
 $100,000 or more sharply increased by about 5
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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, breaking through 30
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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, and that with
income
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 less than $25,000, $25,000-$49,999 both had
obvious
Correct article usage
an obvious
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 decline. The group of $50,000-$74,999 and $75,000-$99,999
income
Use synonyms
 still only showed modest fluctuations around 20
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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 and 15
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words income, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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