IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many options. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In today’s digital era,
people
Use synonyms
 hold different opinions about various social and global changes. Nowadays,
people
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 consider that there are multiple
options
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 available. I firmly believe that modern technologies, digital platforms and advanced educational institutes
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 multiple
options
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 to
people
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. From my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss my viewpoint with clear arguments and relevant examples, before drawing a conclusion.
To begin
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 with, these days
people
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 have a wide range of
options
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 for doing anything. In
this
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globalized
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globalised
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 world, technologies
made
Verb problem
have made
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 life easier by enhancing
transport
Correct article usage
the transport
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 system,
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people
Correct word choice
and people
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 have many
options
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 to move from one place to another.
For instance
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,
In
Fix capitalization
in
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 Pakistan, Lahore city,
people
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 have different
options
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 in transport,
such
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 as speedo, the metro bus, orange train.
Therefore
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,
people
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 have multiple
options
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 for
traveling
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travelling
show examples
.
Secondly
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, higher institutes, like
universities
Punctuation problem
universities,
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 have different departments, where
people
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 can easily complete their tertiary education by their own choice. As an illustration, international universities, like
University
Correct article usage
the University
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 of Central Queensland in
Australia
Punctuation problem
Australia,
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 facilitate both local and international students, where students can polish their skills and secure their future.
That is
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 why, nowadays,
people
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 have many
options
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.
Moreover
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,
this
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 is the era of technology,
people
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 are well aware
about
Change preposition
of
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 everything, because digital platform provides all types of information.
To conclude
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, I strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
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 statement,
people
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 have multiple chances to do anything, because
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 advancements in technology and in big institutes
increases
Correct subject-verb agreement
increase
show examples
 the choices for everyone. So,
people
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 have various
options
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 for everything.
This
Linking Words
 positive development made
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life easier than past, by providing different
options
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.

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structure
Plan the essay with four clear parts: intro, two body paragraphs, conclusion.
language
Use short, clear sentences and give specific examples that link to your view.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like 'also', 'but', 'therefore' to show flow.
content
Explain how each example supports your view so your points become stronger.
content
Clear stance stated at start and restated at end
content
Attempts to give examples from transport and education
structure
Conclusion exists and mirrors the introduction

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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