Some people believe that young people brig more profits to a company. Others says that older people actually bring more profit. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about who
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
more benefit to the company. Many
people
Use synonyms
think that the young generation
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
more likely to contribute profit to the business,
while
Linking Words
others believe that the seniors
contibution
Correct your spelling
contribute
more than
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
.
Verb problem
do.
show examples
I personally think that junior co-workers give more financial gain, compared to
elder
Use the right word
older
show examples
workers. On the one hand,
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
number of
people
Use synonyms
support their
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
that the younger employees
give
Verb problem
bring
show examples
more
gainings
Check wording
gains
show examples
to the firm.
Firstly
Linking Words
, most of them
freshly
Rephrase
have just
show examples
graduated from their qualifications and
willing
Verb problem
are willing
show examples
to support
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
with their ideas.
Also
Linking Words
,
youth
Correct article usage
the youth
show examples
generation can keep up with new technological achievements and devices, which nowadays many businesses
trying
Verb problem
are trying
show examples
to switch to the new technological gadgets.
For example
Linking Words
, all types of firms
trying
Verb problem
are trying
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to use modern software in order to gain more success in
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
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environment,
hence
Linking Words
with the help of
juniors
Punctuation problem
juniors,
show examples
this
Linking Words
process
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
less effort and
mitigate
Correct subject-verb agreement
mitigates
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time wasting.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
other members of
society
Add a comma
society,
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seniors are more likely to give succession rather than postgraduates. Older
people
Use synonyms
faced with more
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
and gained new experiences through
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
problems.
Linking Words
Also
Punctuation problem
Also,
show examples
their
analitical
Correct your spelling
analytical
and problem-solving skills
more
Verb problem
are more
show examples
advanced than the youth, as
besides
Linking Words
formal learning, they have
got
Verb problem
gained
show examples
practical
experiment
Use the right word
experience
show examples
throughout the years.
For instance
Linking Words
, if
Correct article usage
an enterprice
show examples
enterprice
Correct your spelling
enterprise
will face some problems, old workers of
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
can help to resolve
this
Linking Words
, in order they might have faced
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
type of
challange
Correct your spelling
challenge
and get through from it at earlier times. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
many
people
Use synonyms
think that experienced
old
Use the right word
older
show examples
workers
give
Verb problem
bring
show examples
more profit, I personally believe that the younger generation can give more support with their technological skills.

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task
Make sure you fully answer the task by naming your view clearly and give a short plan at the start.
coherence
Use clear links to join ideas; use words like on one hand, however, also, for example.
grammar
Check your grammar and spelling to be clear.
content
The essay shows both sides and gives a view.
structure
There is an attempt to give examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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