IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Percentage of Australian exports to four countries from 1990 to 2012

The given chart illustrates the proportion of Australian
exports
Use synonyms
 to four countries between 1990 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is crystall clear that the ratio of
exports
Use synonyms
 in Japan and US underwent a decrease,
while
Linking Words
China
Use synonyms
 and India expressed an increase during the given
period
Use synonyms
. In the initial
period
Use synonyms
 Japan was the highest proportion, but end of the
period
Use synonyms
 it reverse position with
China
Use synonyms
.
China
Use synonyms
 indicated the sharp increase ultimate the
period
Use synonyms
. Looking at the statistics in more details, the proportion of
exports
Use synonyms
 in Japan which accounted for 25% in 1990, it started decreased till 2000 and
then
Linking Words
 became flactuate and ultimate the
period
Use synonyms
 percentage of the export value reached to 18%. The rate of foreign sales in US, which amount to 11% by 1990, had dropped 8% in 1995, and
then
Linking Words
 slightly increased 12% from 2000 till 2010 and reached 5%, ultimate the
period
Use synonyms
 slightly rised to 6%. Preliminary
period
Use synonyms
 the rate of export figures in
China
Use synonyms
 accounted for 3%, slightly increased till 2000 and reached 5%, but from 2000 to 2012 percentage of
exports
Use synonyms
 in
China
Use synonyms
 experienced the sharp increased and reached 26%. The amount of international trade in India, which accounted for 1% in initial
period
Use synonyms
, remained more or less the same till 2000 and
then
Linking Words
 had risen to 5% by 2005, increased 8% in 2010, ultimate the
period
Use synonyms
 experienced a slight drop, decreasing to 5%

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Use simple, clear words and short sentences. Some phrases are hard to read. Make sure the main trends are clear in one or two lines.
coherence cohesion
Make the links between ideas clear. Start with a short intro and end with a short sum. Use small links like first, then, also, but, and. Break the writing into clear paragraphs.
content
The writer gives data for all four countries.
structure
There is some attempt to show how values move from the start to the end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: