IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows information about male and female gym membership between 1980 and 2010. write 150 words

The graph below shows information about male and female gym membership between 1980 and 2010. write 150 words
The line chart illustrates the trends of
men
Check wording
men's
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 and
women
Check wording
women's
show examples
 gym
membership
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear
thet
Correct your spelling
that
 both genders showed considerable fluctuations with downward trends over the period. In
1980
Punctuation problem
1980,
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 approximately 2,000
accounted for men
Correct word order
men accounted for
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 gym
membership
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 only 1,000
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
women
.
Verb problem
did.
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 The number of
men
Check wording
men's
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membership
Use synonyms
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
 consistently to reach around 4,000 in 1985, before falling sharply to under 2,000 by 1995.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of females rose
gradualy
Correct your spelling
gradually
 and
peak
Replace the word
peaked
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 just under 3,000 in 1995. After 1995, the figure of males recovered to peak at 5,000 in 2005, which
was
Verb problem
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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overtook the figure of women.
However
Linking Words
, the
last
Linking Words
 recorded year, 2010, saw a significant decrease to under 1,000
Use synonyms
membership
Replace the word
members
show examples
. The lowest point over the period given.
Menwhile
Correct your spelling
Meanwhile
,
girls
Check wording
girls'
show examples
membership
Use synonyms
 remained between 3,000 and 2,000 tell 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words membership with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fluctuate
  • Spike
  • Steady increase
  • Decline
  • Plateau
  • Peak
  • Surge
  • Membership uptake
  • Gender disparity
  • Health consciousness
  • Fitness regimes
  • Societal norms
  • Technological advancements
  • Demographic shift
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