Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both views and give your opiniom

In
this
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modern era, having a
job
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with a big
salary
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is a blessing.
While
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some
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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argue that having an enjoyable office will maintain their mental health, I side with those who feel earning a lot of money is a better option when considering a
job
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. On the one hand, having
passionate
Correct article usage
a passionate
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job
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will bring peace. Workers will find
the
Correct article usage
an
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enjoyable moment every time they come to the office as they love their
job
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.
This
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continues
Wrong verb form
continued
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activity
also
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helps them to improve themselves , as the more people love their
job
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, the more they want to learn more about their
job
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.
Consequently
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, they upgraded themselves.
However
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, having a
job
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that is
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enjoyable can make people stuck in one
job
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. They will feel secure and comfortable. As they become more comfortable, they do not want to try things in
new
Correct article usage
a new
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place.
Besides
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that,
this
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kind of attitude will limit their social skills. They only meet the same person almost every day. The percentage of expanded social skills will be low.
On the other hand
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, having a big
salary
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is a must in today's era. Life is getting so expensive
even
Correct word choice
that even
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a single man needs to pay for his expenses,
such
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as rent for a house, groceries and wifi.
Therefore
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, having a good
salary
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will help people to secure their lives.
Moreover
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, having a big
salary
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will
also
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be helpful as workers can make a plan for their future.
For instance
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, they can save money to get the life that they want once they retire.
However
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, having a good
salary
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can impact a worker's lifestyle. It will influence them to buy luxury things.
As a result
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, they will waste money on brands rather than on the quality of the
things
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products
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. In conclusion,
although
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having a big
salary
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can change
Correct article usage
a
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community's lifestyle, it totally benefits them in other ways. They will feel secure financially. I ,
therefore
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, remain convinced that having an ideal
salary
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will be the better option in today's society.

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task response
Be clear about your view in one line at the start and end, and show both sides well.
coherence
Use easy linking words and begin each paragraph with a clear idea sentence.
task response
Give one or two simple examples to show your point.
structure
The essay uses paragraphs and basic sign posts like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.
content
There is a clear conclusion that agrees with your view.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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